Il mio Isabella dolce
by Anvolea
Summary: Jordan run's. Why did Jordan leave? Where did she go? Will Woody find her? And who is Isabella?
1. Figlia del Vento

**I don't own it, but if I did things would be different...**

**This fic born in ver "strange" way. I was talking with one of my friends in the CJ board Online (great place btw) by MSN ...and she make a funny comentary on how get Woody and Jordan together...haha...and we ended with this fic...Hope the you like guy's ..this is my first fic ...oh well here in and anacharlie(she is the one with the funny idea...and my co-writting) help as well  
**

**The tittle is in Italian...you would know why soon...It means "My sweet Isabella"...**

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Chapter 1: Figlia del Vento (The Wind's Daughter)

"Oh, my God!" Jordan swallowed hard staring the small object on her hands. She looked around trying to find some reason to believe it was a dream.  
A bad one actually. But no. It wasn't a dream. Jordan was sitting in her bathroom with a pregnancy test in her hands. Her positive pregnancy test.  
"How did this happen?" Jordan asked herself "Stupid question! You're a grown woman and a doctor. You know how girls get pregnant. ... Ok, just breathe."

-------------------------------------------

**_ St. Ines Church _**

Jordan kneels at the confessionary.  
"What happened?" Paul asked.  
"I'm pregnant." she said a little louder than a whisper.  
"Come again!"  
"Pregnant, Paul." Jordan repeated "I'm pregnant."  
"Ok." the priest took a deep breath "Who's the father?"  
"What am I gonna do? I'm having a baby!" Jordan yelled desperate   
"Who's the father?" Paul insisted "He has the right to know."   
"He doesn't want me. Or the baby" Jordan shook her head.  
"Have you told him?"  
Jordan lowered her eyes.  
"Do you plan on telling?" She didn't answer.  
"Who's he?" Paul asks with urgency.  
"Why does it matter?" Jordan tried to get away with not answering it.   
"Whatever you say to me, I can't tell anyone." Paul reminded her "You know that."  
Jordan sighed. "Woody."  
"As in 'Woody Hoyt, Homicide Detective'?"  
"Yeah. Is there another one?" Jordan asked sarcastically.  
"You should tell him" he said  
"Not in a million years" Jordan responds fastest  
"But Jordan…"  
"I don't came here, to you tell me what to do" was the sarcastic reply.  
"Aja?" Paul raises an eyebrow in incredulously.  
"Okay maybe I come for that…but one thing is certainly I'm not going to say a word to Woody."  
"Can I ask why?" He said  
"He has moved on, have a new life with woman who loves him…and if what I hear is true …is planning a wedding…is not official yet…" Jordan voice faded  
"A wedding!" Paul said shocking  
"I hear the he bought a ring like…3 weeks ago" She replied with whisper…this wasn't easy for her.  
"I'm sorry…"  
"Is my fault…I pushed him away…and now is too late…" Jordan tried to smile, she failed miserably  
"He wouldn't change his mind…even for the baby?" Paul asking  
"I couldn't that!" Jordan said immediately "push him to be with me...because a baby?...never…I'm going to make sure the this baby have all what he needs"  
"How about a father?" Paul said serious, but with a little angry in his voice..."Are you think about it…how this baby is going to grow with out him?...How are you going to denied who's his father is?...I mean is genetic Jordan…" Paul said; believe the maybe scientific facts can make her to say to Woody the true.  
"I know I'm doctor" Jordan replies…"that is because I make a decision…"  
"And what is that decision?" Paul said not sure about hat except for an answer  
"I'm not going to be here"…Jordan said softly  
"What!.." Paul starts to feel a huge panic in his heart.  
"Is not what you thinking" Jordan said when caught Paul gaze…"I'm not going to be in this country…I'll ready make some calls…I'm going to Italy…." Jordan finish  
"Italy!...what on earth Jordan!...be serious…." Paul couldn't believe it   
"I'm serious…very…" …Jordan said quiet  
"You are going to run…like always…that isn't fear for that creature you have there; it not only below to you…it below to him as much as you…"  
"Oh and what I'm going to say to him" Jordan yelled angrily…"Oh you know Woody….sorry the I have to ruin your plans to live happily ever after, but I'm pregnant - and you're the father."…she said with a sarcastic grin "how does that sound, Paul?"  
"Dam"…He suddenly remember the this was church "Well I think the you are right at some points"  
"It isn't easy for me either…" She avoids his gaze, focus her eyes in the wood of the confessionary…  
"Do you love him...are you?"  
"What!...Me?...Of course not…" Her voice sound strong and secure, but her eyes showing to him a complete different story.  
"Look at me Jordan Cavanaugh" Paul command"and say that again" this time his eyes were focus on hers.  
"I don't…." Jordan starts …but she couldn't lie…not about this..  
"You do love him…that is the real reason I can see it…you don't want to do this, because you love him…  
"I…I don't know what to do…Paul…"  
"Well why if we don't walk for the park…I don't have service today…"   
"But if I do that…you can tell to…"  
"I won't say a word ...I swore…"  
"Even the he treated you with a gun…"  
"Ah well….under that circumstances…"  
"Paul…"   
"Okay, I swear"

------------------------------------------------

_"It is a beautiful ring" _he thought _"I sure the she would say yes"_….He look again to the simple ring with one diamond in the center…simple but sophisticated, that was the lady in the jewelry said…_"Nothing to fancy sir, that is the best option…something simple, so everyone would know the you and her are engaged."_…the voice of the woman sounds in Woody's head. That was 3 weeks ago…and he still having the ring…still wasn't in Lu's hand…  
_"Why, Why in the name of God I still don't pass the ring to her" _He yelled for himself. He buy it for her…to married her…to live with her for the rest of his life. _"Is not what you want? What you always want?"_ He asked desperate to him self…  
He look to the window of his office…one thing get his attention…a family, Dad, Mom and a little girl…she probably didn't have more then 2 years old…and was laughing to her Dad, who was making funny faces to her "Mommy, Mommy, Daddy's bear!". The woman just smile softly to her daughter at the same time the she toke her husband hand…  
They were happy as a couple can be….together, with all their life to enjoy it….Soon he would have the same….a pretty wife and maybe a couple of kids…and with luck so lovely's as the little girl…small, with blue eyes and a curly chestnut hair. His fantasy hit him then, it was no way her daughter ever have that hair…because Lu wasn't brunette, she was blonde. It was only a memories game, something old…they it never would be true.

_"It was my own decision…I have nothing to blame about it" _He told his self, looking to the ring again…a diamond…her birth stone…she was a very rare diamond, a flower who's as grow in the adversity and for that she was the most beautiful of all…probably you would never found another one…ever. One night…that was all what he have to remember…but that night meant nothing for her…he don't want to be a rebound guy….so he start to date with Lu…and after 4 months he was asking to her to married…maybe was a little rush….but he wants security…something the he never have with Jordan…Jordan….she was acting more than weird now…she have suspicion…maybe?. Woody shook his head…_"No…No one knows…but then why the suddenly change"_…she doesn't even look to him now…she "literally" runs every time the she saw him….Something was wrong…something…not their relationship was the best after the "Inn"…but…why she suddenly change…

"Hey you're self! I was looking for you"…Lu said entering in Woody's office "You promises to take to…" she focus his gaze in Woody's hands "What is that!" she said a little expecting pointed to the box in his hands.  
"This?" He tried to say cynically "Oh nothing….just a box" "Just a box…nice move you dumb ass" He thought  
"I know is a box….but is an especial box Woody…" Lu said still keeping her gaze in the box.  
"Oh well…you think?" he said teasing her…but it was a little sarcastic.  
"Is a ring box Woody….are you playing with me?" Lu smiled to him   
"Yeah...that is exactly what I'm doing…wanna look what is inside?" Woody said with a grin  
"Did I have to response to that?" She said given to him her best seduced gaze at the same time the her hands were going to..  
"Haha" Woody take the box in the precise moment…"you have to wait…"   
No fear…let me see…" She reaches for the box…having a little struggle with him…Woody laugh to Lu frustrating expression…but then she caught the box..  
"Aja!...that is because you laugh at me!..." She opened the box and…"Oh my God Woody is beautiful!...Yes, I say yes!  
"Did I have to ask you first?"  
"Oh well…I guess so" Lu said a little blush  
"You wanna marry me?"  
"Yes…yes of course!"...she wrapped her arms over her neck and kisses him…

---------------------------------

"So that was what happened…" Paul said after hear the entire story   
"Yeah most off" Jordan said …she was having a headache…..something very common for her now  
"What do you mean?" Paul asks suspicion…_"it was something more?"_ he thought  
"Nothing" was Jordan immediately replies  
"Hmm….so then you slept with him…and nothing happened between you two, because he don't want to be the rebound guy….right?" Paul said   
"That is the picture" Jordan said …it was hard heard the same words of her mind….so brutal  
"Someone must kick his ass…" Paul said …a little furious to say the true   
"Be my guest…" Jordan said with a grin…a sad one  
"Are you going to be okay with this?...I mean the trip, the baby…a least you are going to tell to someone…" He wasn't sure... how Jordan can pass over this…yes she was a strong woman …but…  
"If I open my mouth….sure the entire morgue would know it in half of second." Jordan cut his thoughts  
"What about your grandma?" Paul suggest  
"You serious?" Jordan asks incredulously…"probably she would try to put Woody in jail…"  
"Yeah" he chucked "I forgot the after all she is like that…So…nobody, except for me?  
"Yeah…sort off" Jordan said  
"And if I wasn't a priest…you would tell me?" Paul know the answer, before the Jordan opens her mouth  
"Probably not…" She said sincerely  
"Jordan…." Pau voice sound like a huge warning…  
"I'm ve' honest" Jordan replies  
"I'm not agreeing with what you are planning to do but"…He said softly "I hope everything work well."  
"Thanks' Paul" She still feel some relief to talk to someone, the worry about her…."I gotta go now…I'm on call this night"  
"But the baby…" He start to argue  
"I'm pregnant not invalid…Paul" was Jordan practically answer  
"Yeah" He wasn't 100 convince "but what the doctor say…about this can be dangerous for you...because of your age…and that was one of the reason you discover the pregnancy so late…"  
"Well…true…but the doctor also said I'm healthy…and the bay is strong as a horse…so only have to take care of my self a little more then what I just t do…" she smiled to him and start to walk to take a taxi.   
"Jordan" Paul calls her  
"What?" She said turning his face to him  
"Take care of your self" he said "and the baby" he pointed to her tummy  
"I will" Jordan smiled before to catch the Taxi.

----------------------------------

"Someone knows where Jordan is?" Garret ask entering in the autopsy room   
"Nope…sorry Doctor M" Nigel replies  
"She is in call" Garret said  
"I know that Garret…" Jordan replies from behind  
"Oh well you are late…" Garret start  
"Sorry …traffic…" Jordan said distracted  
"Okay here" He pass a file to Jordan  
"What is?" She asks  
"Male body, single shot on the chest. Woody is waiting…"  
"Oh ….sure…" Jordan said a little embarrassing  
"Nigel go with her…." He command  
"I can go alone Garret….is not the I'm going to beat Woody" Jordan start to arguing  
"Is not for that" Garret replies…".you look pale and tired" he said pointed to Jordan's exhausted face.  
"Oh….I just don't rest well last night" She said _"Nauseas are the worst thing in this world"_ she thought  
"Better then….finish the job and go home…" Garret said  
"But I'm on call" Jordan said  
"Yeah but you don't look like you can pass the night there….finish the job and go home Jordan"  
"Okay boss" Jordan said and let the room with Nigel  
"She just accept my orders Lily?" Garret asks to Lily  
"Apparently…" Lily said surprise  
"That's weird. Something is wrong here." Garret said worried…

--------------------------------------------------

"Hey Nige….ah Jordan" Woody said looking to both ME's  
"Hello Woodrow...what do we have?"  
"Male, single shut …it looks pretty clear isn't?" Woody said "Excuse me"….and he lives to talk with a new witness  
"Suicide…." Jordan said softly...too softly  
"Lov' are you okay?...you look pale…" Nigel has the fear the Jordan would fall to the floor right away  
"Who me?" She said cynically…I don't work "I'm fine… just that smell" she said  
"Hmmm? The body's?" Nigel replies  
"No…the one from the kitchen…My stomach isn't good …that smell make feels a little sick…" Jordan said…now feeling really bad.  
"Why you don't wait outside?" Nigel said with a complicit smile   
"What!...I can't let you do all the work" Jordan arguing  
"Come on lov'…is not really "too much' work…" Nigel played   
"Okay Nige…I own you one…" she said grateful…she knows the she can't stay there one minute more with out….well almost make a Technicolor in the floor.  
"Hey Nige ..so" Woody said backing to body  
"Suicide…..but it would be clearer in the morgue" Nigel says, preparing to put the body in the bag.  
"Perfect…and" He looks around …"Where is Jordan?" he asks  
"Out side…she doesn't feel good…" Nigel say distracted  
"Why" Woody asks again…_"Jordan Cavanaugh out form a body…no way"_ he thought  
"Her stomach …she said the eat something" Nigel say still focus in the body  
"Oh…ah, so if there nothing the I can do so….I'm going to see her…" Woody said trying to sound relaxing  
_"If that men as forget her…I eat a chair"_ Nigel thought as he looks Woody walk out to he house.

"Hey….is a little cold here…." Woody says staying behind Jordan  
"Oh" she was surprise by his presence …"is not bad…actually the fresh air makes my feel better…" Jordan say  
"You eat something bad?" Woody asks worried , she look really pale…and so tired.  
"It seems" she replies _"But is another" thing" there what make feel sick" _  
"Are you taking something for that?" Woody said  
"Yeah…is nothing to worried about it…just little nauseas" Jordan said unfocused  
"Nauseas?" Woody rise an eyebrow…  
_"Damn" _Jordan thought "Yeah….you knows that how call the things the makes you want to throw up"  
"You're been sick?" He said worried  
"Just a little" Jordan say trying to give the idea it wasn't serious   
"You should be in bed then…not here...in the cold" He said…."let me take you home…Nigel can take the body to the morgue" He offered  
"No…really isn't necessary" Jordan say…_"it could be dangerous" _she thought shivering a little _"My apartment certainly would give a lot of clues of what is going on' _  
"What wrong Jor? You are shacking" Woody said noted Jordan body's reaction  
"I'm just cold" She said fast  
"Here" He said, taking his coat and putting in her shoulders  
"No…Woody"   
"Save it…if you don't feel good, you shouldn't be here…I'm going to take you home…don't argue…I'm going to tell Nigel." He said and back in the house to talk with Nigel  
_"This is not good" _Jordan thought  
"Doctor Cavanaugh, are you right?" One of the police officer, who was in there, ask to her  
"Oh yeah…" Jordan said strangely  
"You look pale…" The officer say worried  
"Why every body is telling me that!" Jordan yelled  
"Because is true Lov" Nigel said from behind  
"You too…" She said turning her face to him  
"Lov' what is wrong?…you heard the rumors..?" Nigel asks to her  
"What rumors?" Jordan said surprise…looking deep in Nigel face…something wasn't okay…  
"Oh..nothing" He trying to lied…"I'm going to"  
"Nigel!" She grabbed his arm..."What rumors?" Jordan asks urgent   
"Lov'…well is not official yet" he hated hurt her like this, cursing is mouth …"but I heard the official talk about it…"  
"About what?" Jordan feels a huge pain…and she wasn't even sure of hat   
"The Woody and Lu are enga…" Nigel said softly  
"Don't…" she cut him off…she don't want to her the complete sentence.   
"I'm sorry love" Nigel said taking her hands, trying to catch her eyes to say how…  
"Take me home Nige" she said keeping her eyes in the floor…"please" she played  
"Sure…I think you needed" Nigel said softly given to her a hug.  
"There you are guys…Listen Nigel I'm going to.." Woody says backing to them  
"No" Jordan said strong and cold…"Nigel would take me…"  
"But Nigel has to go to…" Woody stammered….something was wrong ...the tone in her voice…  
"I can let Jordan in her place first…is not a problem Woodrow" Nigel said trying to keep way Jordan  
"Yeah" she said sarcastic…"beside…Your fiancée can think things are not….Goodnight Detective Hoyt…" was her last coolness sentence  
_  
__"Detective…she never calls me Detective….not even when we meet for first time"_…well sure he deserve it …try to be a gentleman when he have a fiancée. ...between Jordan and he was nothing, not now not ever…and it was his own decision…he can't do a damn thing…

-------------------------------

Jordan look into her place…._"Woody has a fiancée. He is going to married for Christ sake…married" __  
_  
The pains overbold her. Nauseas ere nothing compare with that…they say you don't feel anything when a bullet gets in your heart….  
She knew it, she always knew it…ever since he start to date with her…and now…was true…Jordan want just to run ….far…when nobody can see the darkness in her eyes, the pale of her face…the shacking hand the tried to calm his sobs….  
She cried all the night, she cried for Woody and his baby…she cried for they life the she never would have with him, she cried over her baby's future. She cried until there were not more tears to burned…she cried all, to never have to cried for that again…to never have to cry for him …ever.  
She took the telephone on her nightstand…and discard a number in the she have in her agenda.  
"Hello, Travel Agency, I'm Martha, may I help you?" a female voice said   
"Hey, I'm Jordan Cavanaugh…I want to buy a ticket to Italy…" she said low…and slow  
"Tourism?" the "happy mode" woman asks  
"No"…Jordan's face closed up. "one to never come back…."

---------------------


	2. La verità, sempre non li regola liberi

Okay, next chap...I have to say the this is sad...not happy stuff yet...:) 

** --------------------------------------------  
**

**Chapter 2: La verità, sempre non li regola liberi (Truth, doesn't always set you free)**

Jordan woke up in the middle of the night feeling sicker than ever….Now she was not only with nauseas…she also has won a headache and a neck pain.

"_All that just because I fell asleep in the wrong position…Oh Hell_"….all she could think about was the nausea rise in her body, she ran to the bathroom…and stayed there for several hours.

"_And I still have at least like 3 more months of this…and then hormones!" she thought sarcastically…"Okay I think I'm done with this" _she said to herself…but she couldn't stand up…probably throwing up everything let her weaker….actually she was a little dizzy…"Great! On this cold floor I'M sure I could catch the flu….damn!...What?" she swore then she heard someone knocking at her door…_"Must be my imagination" _she thought…Wrong…they were knocking again only this time stronger…"Who could that be?" Jordan though intrigued…well...she really needed some help right now….she was just about to scream the door wasn't blocked…when…

"Jordan?" A voice called…It was Woody

"_Damn!"….Why does it have to be him?"…_Jordan thought… _"I think I let the things really clears today…"_

"Jordan are you there?" Woody asks

"_No, hell I'm not"_ she thought…_"just go away…Oh God"…_she started to feel sick again…and throw up again…

Woody was locked to the door…to hear if…Ah! She was there!….and for the sounds she really wasn't okay…"Jordan let me in, I know the you are in there…open the door!"

"Sure I can!" Jordan yelled….feeling her body shakes for the nauseas and the angry…

"I would open then …I'm so sorry for your door!"

"No" another round of sickness …"Is not locked!"

He finally managed to get in the apartment and not broke the door…"Jordan …Where are you?" he asks not see her anywhere

"In the bathroom" was the weaker answer…

"What are you doing…Oh God…" was all what Woody could say…when he saw Jordan on the floor and almost using the toilet as an anchor…

"I knew it…I shouldn't let you the Nigel brings you back…" he say taking away her from the floor in his arms….and gently putting her in bed…

"Thanks"….that was all what Jordan could say after to fall into the pillows

"I'm calling you a Doctor" he said taking the phone

"No!" she screaming…and trying to take it away the phone from him. She failed

"Why not?" he said annoying, she can't really see the she needs one or what…

"Oh well…is not really a big deal"

"Really? I found you in the floor ….and you can't even stand up…and is not a big deal?...you disappointed me as a Doctor"

"_Damn!" _she thought_…"found an excuse …and soon!"_

"So…why not?" Woody asks still keeping the phone safe in his hand

"Uh?"…

"I'm mean if you give one very good reason I wouldn't call the Doctor" he offered

"Because is just the effect f the medicine"…She said _"Got you"_ she thought

"Nah" Woody said after look into to her eyes "Nice try Jordan, I could it believe if you weren't lying me"

"Give me that!" Jordan tries to grab the phone…

"Ah!" he stopped her with a finger a send her back to the pillows "See how weak you are?"

Twenty minutes later, Jordan was with the Doctor…and shaking over all her body…  
"You really are ill miss" the Doctor said.  
"How bad she is?" Woody asks worried.  
"Let see her blood and temperature," the Doctor said starting to prepare his equipment  
"You don't have to be here you know," Jordan said sarcastically to Woody  
"Ah…yeah right …I'll wait in the kitchen." He left the room. He knew the she was still was angry at him for what happened in the murder scene, and he also knew she had every right to be…  
"Okay Miss, where does it hurt? Stomach or something else?" the Doctor asked Jordan..  
"Well….actually I have nausea that all" she said seriously  
"Nausea?" the Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Women use that word only to describe one kind of sickness." He paused and waited for her to speak.  
"I know," Jordan said in a low voice. "Because I know what is wrong with me….well not wrong...Just nature?" she said with a grin   
"You are pregnant, right?" the Doctor said smiling  
"Yeah I have 3 months and half," she said  
"Well Mommy…what you eat the make you feel so bad?"  
"I dunno…I'm following the diet the my doctor gives me."   
"Hmm…nausea are naturals …but not that strong…mm…is a little inflamed here…you bleeding?  
"No…" Jordan felt a huge panic rise up inside her. "Something is wrong with the baby?"  
"I can't tell you right now…you need some tests to know that…when is your next appointment?"  
"2 weeks"  
"You can't wait….you need to go tomorrow…and I might think you need to see a specialist"  
"Why?"   
"Just in case…here this is Doctor James Winters…he is the best in the field …I would call him…to tell him the you would go, probably his secretary called to confirm…and here this pills would help you."  
"Thanks."   
"What about the boy?"   
"Woody…..yeah …you can invent something?" Jordan pleads  
"No problem"….the doctor say smiling a letting Jordan in the room   
"So, what wrong with her?" Woody asks  
"Just a little inflammation in the colon," he said, much to Jordan's horror.  
"Oh…and she is going to be okay?" Woody asked, looking from the doctor to Jordan.  
"Yeah …nothing the a pills and a good sleeping night can't hand it"  
"So after all it wasn't a big deal"  
"Not really."  
"I let you in the door Doctor"  
"Goodnight."   
"Goodnight."  
"He is going too Doctor….isn't Woody?"  
"Well good night miss take care of…yourself."  
"I will," she said, shutting the door.  
"Sorry son."  
"No, she has all the right in the world."

----------------------------------------

Jordan woke up the next morning feeling a lot better, so she prepared her self to have a full day. She needed to go to the travel agency and the Doctor.  
She took a light breakfast and watches her machine message…3….she press the button and hear**_…"Hey, love….I hope you are feeling better…take care."_** Nigel message… "Message number two**_: Miss Cavanaugh I'm Beatrice, the secretary of Doctor Winters, can you confirmed your appointment for next Tuesday 1P.M, good morning."_**….Jordan take notes of this one…."Message number 3: **_Hey….I hope the you feeling better…I want to apology for been so tough yesterday…but you looked awful…Ahh…well I guess the I see you in work…take care…"_** Woody one's.

"If I have tickets in this dance…you wouldn't see me again"…Jordan says…taking the phone to confirm the Doctor's appointment and to making a second calls.  
"Macy."   
"Hey Garret," she said.  
"Jordan! How are you feeling?"  
"A little better…but the Doctor say I have to stay in home until Friday"  
"You are abusing of my kindness….I'm going to make you pay for this Jordan"  
"Sure boss…so I got the permission?"  
"Yeah just take care of yourself. good"  
'Thanks' Garret…Bye' she sigh in relief but with sadness…too….she was lying to everyone ….maybe they would never forget her….she picked the phone up to make one last call.  
"Hello" a male voice responded  
"Mr. Robert? I'm Jordan Cavanaugh, I called you .."  
"I know who you are...Jordan …what's up?"  
"I need the favor….I need to be dropped off the face of the earth," she began, waiting for a reply.  
"That's gonna be tricky, but not impossible. When?"  
"Friday at 12:30 AM."  
"4 days?...No way ..I need a least a week" Robert argue  
"Can't…I have to let this country …now" Jordan said with urgency.  
"Why? Are you going to jail?" he teased  
'"No ….just …can you do the job?" Jordan asked tersely.  
"Oh…well….I going to need more money then…" Robert said.  
"How much?" Jordan hears what he wants. "Done" she said  
"Okay...by Friday at 12: 45 AM …not even a GPS could found you"  
"Thanks'" and she push the phone back onto the hook, mind churning with the ramifications of what she was about to do. "Well I guess the since the I can't go to the Doctor I make all the arrangements with the travel agency and the properties manager…to sold this place….and all that is inside…"

-------------------------------------------------------

(Tuesday)

Jordan was in the waiting room reading a magazine and waiting for the nurse to call her. All the woman's there looks so pregnant, all with bellies - a reality of what she had in store. With 3 months...she looked a little fat…like she was eating too much  
but not pregnant….and thank God for that….because Woody would have noticed immediately last night…  
Last night, it was been dropped in the zero zone, a dream of what it would be if he were by her side, taking her, see the nothing was wrong, always worrying about the baby and her health….but no….. "_This is reality"_. Jordan thought…"_my self and you"_ she looks in to her little belly with a love - a love that only mothers can feel.  
Jordan focus his attention in the magazine again….reading a couple of funny things about baby's…and some advices for new mothers….until…the someone come out from one of the offices….it was Lu.  
Jordan felt a rush of panic. _"Why between all the hospitals, she has to uses the same her new Doctor has!"… "Oh My God"_….The door was too far for her to make a run for it, the elevator was down…run for that stairs was an option too...but….damn...she is turning up here….Jordan do the only thing she could think of – she covered her face with the magazine and hoped that Lu wouldn't stay too long…  
"So Miss Simmons….How you evaluation go?" The secretary asks to Lu   
"Great….well I need to take more of my self now…since the I'm going to married…and certainly my future husband want a family…so…I need to control my self." she said smiling  
Jordan bit her lip, trying the control the tears were running from his cheeks… "_A family…something my baby would never have"_ Jordan thought….a wave of jealousy invaded her…she want to make that woman disappears….so in that way that there were not obstacle's for_…" Why I'm thinking in this_!" Jordan thought  
"Okay…all the papers are right Miss Simmons….when I put your next visit?" the secretary asks…  
"Oh…next month?" Lu replies  
"Sure the next 24…have a nice day Miss"  
"Thanks" ….Lu said and walk to the exist  
Jordan breathes in relief….her secret was safe…..but …  
"Miss Cavanaugh" the nurse calls her  
"Damn"…Jordan whisper…looking to see if Lu was there…no….she was gone… thank god.  
"Miss Jordan Cavanaugh?" the nurse calls again  
"Right here"…  
"The Doctor Winters is waiting you" the nurse said….and open the door office for Jordan…"The Doctor would come in a minute"  
"Thanks'…" Jordan says….looking around of the office… Thank god, she thought again. Lucky!  
Not such luck…she was completely unaware that Lu had seen the entire scene, when she returns to finds something the she forgot.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Every seems to be fine with the baby…except for this inflammation..." The Doctor says  
"So what is wrong then?" Jordan asks worried  
"Too soon to tell…but…If I bet my money…I'm a getting concerned about the placenta. If things keep evolutions like this you probably are going into "premature labor" or "hemorrhage" to death." He said gravely  
"WHAT!" Jordan swallowed hard….  
"Is not unusual in women of your age…most of their pregnancies are high risky…for the mother and the baby…just must know as a Doctor"…he said  
"Yeah…but they can have healthy pregnancy as well…" Jordan refuses to believe what she was hearing  
"I know…but I'm so sorry to say this is not your case" he replies   
"What I have to do?" Jordan asks …stand up  
"For now…I'm giving to you and special diet, medication…and you must to reduce your works hours…" He says starting to write the prescription  
"How about travels? Jordan's teased  
"How long?" still writing the Doctor asks  
"Let say… I'm moving of house" she replies  
The Doctor raises his head and looking deep into her eyes "To another country?" he asks  
"Yeah" she nods.  
"When?" he asks …a little concern  
"Next Friday top" Jordan answered  
"Well Miss"…he sighs..."still is not that dangerous but…I would travel in first classe if I were you…where are you going?" he asked with interest.  
"Far…not even in this continent." Jordan says  
"Ah…I see…is a secret" he said smiling…."Here I added more medications so you can save it for the trip…you have a medic to what ever you go?" He asks  
"Yeah I make some calls" Jordan tell him  
"Then your medical records is the most important thing and this…my exams" He pass to Jordan all the papers  
"Thanks so much for everything" Jordan say shacking the Doctor hand.  
"You welcome" He said…"Now just focus your attention in your healthy and the safe of the baby," he pointed to her little tummy.  
"I Will" Jordan said, smiled and left the room.

-----------------------------------

"So what you want for dinner…hun?" Lu asked to Woody who was sitting on the couch

"What ever you want" He said abstracted

"Oh come on! That not helps!"….Lu yelled low "There are a thousand of restaurants here!"

"Chinese?"…Woody said…just to say something

"Funny!" Lu said getting mad "Greek?"…she asks

"There's a first time for everything" Woody said with a grin

"Okay ...Greek it is" Lu says picking the phone. Ten minutes later she was yelled "Woody the deliver guy is here!"…

"I'll get it!" Woody says opening the door to attend the deliver guy

"These smells just great…see? Greek is so good" Lu said with a grin.

"Until now smell good"…he said not 100 convinced

"Stubborn man…" Lu said chuckling…as she put the food on the table

"So how was your appointment today?"…Woody asked

"Uh?" Lu said making him wait a movement to him..."Fine…everything is good…the Doctor say I'm perfect. Isn't great?"…She said smiling

"Yeah…it is"…Woody said

"But you know something" she said thinking seriously…."I found saw I never imagined I would to see there"

"Really?" Woody asked still distracted

"Yeah….I saw Jordan" Lu said unfocused as well

"WHAT?" Woody yelled extremely surprised

"Yeah" Lu looks to Woody "Is not weird hunny…after all she is a woman…all the women's goes to see the gynecologist at one time or another" she said telling him like he would little kid.

"Oh yeah….I forgot" Woody said calming

"But there was still something weird about it" she meditated for a while, then she sigh her frustration…"I can't remember right now what it is…well sure wasn't important"

"Why…did she have a belly?" Woody teased with a grin but inside he wasn't teasing at all.

"No…she…comes on!" pauses thinking…"AH!...that's it….she was going to see Doctor Winters….and as far as I know he is an specialist" Lu pointed out

"Are you sure?" Woody was getting worried…maybe it was more just an inflammation.

"Yeah…must of pregnant women who have complicated births go to him…and…" she picked her cell" Mom? …Calm down …What?...the bouquets …Mom already told you I want tulips…" she starts arguing with her Mother.

Woody froze…pregnancy?…soon everything was clear….the running, the sickness, the cold, the black under her eyes…the nauseas…..the nauseas for God…..Jordan was pregnant…and he can bet the he was the father…And what he could do now?…how could he leave the apartment if Lu was there …talking about the wedding….the wedding for Christ sake!…._"Shit" _he though, then said to Lu "Ah Lu…I need to buy some medicine…my head hurts…all be right back" he said taking his jacket and leaving the apartment as quickly as he could.

"Sure" Lu said too concentrated on the call…to think it was weird…it was nearly 11: 20 PM. Woody ran for down the street calling Jordan house with his cell.

"Come on Jordan picks the damn phone!" he yelled

"This number as been disconnected….please…" a computerized voice said….

"Disconnected?"…Woody swallows hard…that could only mean one thing…Jordan was going to run….

------------------------------------------------

Jordan was finishing up picking everything that she wanted to take with her. The boxes were done - everything she wanted to sell was in one area and everything she wanted to keep in another…

The apartment looks lonely. So quiet and sad - just like her feelings right now. She's leaving everyone and everything she loves with nothing… Only her past as her all encompassing memory….

She walked over the kitchen table and closed the letter she was writing…to Garret. She didn't explain why she was running she just went right to the facts and begged that one day he could forget her. Maybe then he would understand.

Taking the pen again she reached to write a second letter - a difficult one …a painful one. A letter to Woody. She wrote what her heart was feeling and what she thought he would like to know. Writing that letter was a painful experience. Her soul ached with every line…her heart broke with every new word.

A knock distracted Jordan…it was almost 11:30 PM….almost Friday…

"Airport Service…" a voice said behind the door.

"Sure just a sec…" Jordan scream …finish the letter and washing her tears away…

"Good night ma'am"…the guy greeted with a smile, "These are the boxes?" he asked pointing to the group behind Jordan.

"Yeah all this" Jordan said ding

"Okay let me get these in the mini-van and we'll go to the airport" he starts to pick the boxes.

Jordan looked over her apartment one last time and looked over Boston. A city the she would never see again - for at least 10 years…

"Goodbye. Goodbye everyone" she whispers and feeling he heart break a little more…Her heart broke because she was leaving not only her home but also his heart. In his heart, and hers, there were hidden her dreams…her dreams of love, happiness and hope.

------------------------------

Woody runs in to Pearl Street….he don't stop to think about Lu….he just to need to stop Jordan….

He make the trip in record time…and now he was standing at the red door…he knocks one, two, three times…nothing….the fear in his heart growing…"It can't be late." he whisper for himself…"please…it can't be…it - " Suddenly the door opened and what he saw made him want to die. Nothing. Nothing was in there. No paintings, no bed…no Jordan.  
"No, no! Damn it Jordan! Why!" He yelled desperately  
"Sir?" a voice asks from behind him.  
"Who are you?" Woody asked, turning around.  
"I'm here to finish cleaning this up place, sir, as Ms. Cavanaugh instructed…" he sayed pointing to the removal from place to place icon in his shirt.  
"Where is she?" Woody asked, freaking out again. Maybe…  
"At this time?" the guy looked at his watch "It's 12:30. She's probably catching her flight"  
"Flight! To where?" That was his complete undoing.  
"I don't know, sir. I just know she was leaving. She broke her lease and sold her things…Sir?" the guy said getting worried about Woody.  
"Oh My God!" was all Woody could say before he ran again to the only place he would still have a chance to catch her.   
-----------------------------------

"Nigel!"  
"Hey Woodrow calm down," Nigel was slightly afraid – the detective was unusually antsy.  
"Jordan…she's running …she's leaving, Nigel!...we need to stop her!" Woody yelled terrified and out of breath.  
"Sweet Mary…Why?" Nigel was in shock now, as well  
"I don't know," Woody lied  
"What is all this noise?" Garret asked from behind with Bugs  
"Jordan's running Doctor M!" Nigel was screaming this time.  
"Shit!" Bug said.  
"We need to stop her…we need to go to the…" Nigel stars  
Woody interrupted sadly, "The guy said the she was already catching the flight."  
"We need to find out where she's going," Garret commanded, "What is she doing!"  
Woody was crazy, pacing back and forth. All this waiting was killing him. He needed to know.  
"Damn!" Nigel exclaimed  
"What?" Garret asks  
"Something is blocking me," Nigel replied, confused  
"How?" Woody couldn't believe it. If Nigel can't…  
"It's like she doesn't want to be…" Bug started  
"Found…" Garret finishes the sentence "Jordan did this on purpose"  
"She blocked us. Oh damn!" Nigel says desolately.  
"Try something else," Garret suggested  
"I can't. I've tried everything….I'm sorry…" Nigel couldn't believe it either.  
"Garret?" Lily asked, entering in the room  
"What! Garret yelled, startling Lily and everyone else.  
"There is a man with a letter for you…." She trailed off, "What's wrong …your faces. What wrong!"  
"Jordan ran," Nigel told her sadly  
"Why?" Lily was astonished.  
"Let's see that letter." Garret said dejectedly. Five minutes later the group was even sadder. "She ran…she doesn't say where or why, just that she did. God damn it Jordan!"

-------------------------------------

Woody returned to his apartment….to do what? It was nearly 3 AM. Nigel was going to keep trying to find Jordan but nothing was working. It was as if she dropped off the face of the planet.  
"I have a letter for you Detective Hoyt" the guy in the lobby said   
"When?" Woody asks, quickly taking the letter  
"About 2 hours ago" was the reply.  
"The same time Doctor Macy received his" he whispered to himself.  
Woody walked back out of his building. He just walked all the night until the sun began to rise. Then he noticed where he was. The same place they used to run. His cold fingers began to open the letter…..

_My dearest Woody:_

_When you read this I would probably far away…so don't waste your energy in trying to find me…you wouldn't be able to …trust me, I know how to "erase" my foot steps._

_Maybe I don't have the right to do this and you certainly are going to hate me forever for what I done. I've done something I shouldn't but I have to…for my sake and yours….I'm sure you think I'm crazy but I'm no, you deserve to be happy and deserve better than me. Much better. You deserve someone the can be there for you every time you needed and not someone the just appears when she is in trouble or jealous…_

_I know you are happy now and I don't want to take that from you but I should at least tell you why I left._

_The reason is….because… this seems just as hard as telling you in person… I left because…I'm pregnant Woody. I'm pregnant with your baby…_

_You don't believe me?...Well…got some news for you then…we didn't use anything that night…and the pills are only 90 effectives…I guess the I'm part of the 10 who have bad luck, well is not bad luck after all…_

_They say that love is like an Earthquake. It starts with passion and chaos but then when everything calms down you have to decide if the roots are so deeply embedded inside the earth if would be impossible for them to be separated… Well that's not the case with us because when the storms passed….it was cold and just one night to remember… nothing more… nothing less._

_I don't want you to renounce to your life with Lu… for one night. That would be unfair to you and her. You deserve to be happy and I don't want to impede you with a woman you don't love, with a kid you don't want…_

_So move on… just like I did. I release you for all your obligations with this baby. I'm not going to push for child support or anything and I'm going to make the things easier…no awkward moments, no trails or weekends with me and you…_

_But I think that now everything is behind us I shouldn't lie to you anymore. Like I didn't lie the day you had been shot. I spoke the truth. I do love you - always have and always will…but I guess the we weren't meet to be…right?... Because… the things never work out between us…You always wanted more and I was a coward, I know. But you didn't help me…I opened my heart to you and you broke it like I was afraid you would. It was true…you could hurt me… and you did._

_I knew it wasn't safe be in love… and I broke my promise to not fall in love again… but…I think for once it was nice to know how it feels when someone means everything to you. How it feels when you know that your life wont be the same without him, when his happiness is more important that your own._

_So…even though I can't see you walk to the altar to marry her I still want you to be happy. So please forget everything about us and focus on your future. Focus on the future…and make it a good one… for you and Lu… and for anything that comes next. Promise me that… okay?_

_So this is Goodbye…a goodbye forever…_

_You mean more to me the any man I have ever known. I guess that wasn't good enough …I never was good enough… I don't blame you; I know…I'm complicated but…_

_Just when…When you did choose you couldn't hold me a little tighter? When did you decide that you were a rebound guy? And when…when you stop to loving me? I guess I'll never know now. _

_My farm boy, my partner, my co-worker, my friend….and my lover. Goodbye, Woods. I hope you can forgive me one day. I hope that maybe you still feel something for me. All I can do is hope. _

_  
__Jordan _

Woody crumples up the letter in his hands. What else you can do…when your heart is broken into a thousand pieces in just one second? Nothing…, nothing except...scream for inside, bury all the tears, raise your head, and deal with life …a death in life.


	3. La tristezza è ancora qui

**Thanks for all your reviews guy's... **

**So this is chap 3!...I hope the you liked...Thank's to 6sou and anacharlie, because they wrote in this chap as well...and of course to Steph my correcting girl!(I know the I say this on the board..but thanks again Stephy!) Haha...**

**The part of the Weddings planners I took the inspiration from the Movie ...who have that name...(Jennifer Lopez play as wedding planner)so if you as watch that movie probably you would catch more the thing about the song! evil grin ...I added my fav song from CJ as well..."Ordinary People" by John Legend from my fav episode ever! "Skin and Bone"!  
**

**------------------------------------**

**Chapter 3: La tristezza è ancora qui **(The sadness is still here)

Paul was finishing his confessionary duty for this day. Even though he was a priest, hearing people talk about their sins all day was…exhausting. Some were just silly things but others; there was pain there, regret and sadness.  
_'But for today those things are over,'_ he thought in relief. He was planning to take to his study - read and listen to music to relax himself. But destiny had other plans for him.  
"What on earth? Oh no" Paul whisper to himself, worried and a little annoyed..  
Walking threw the garden was someone very familiar to him now since their encounter two month ago. Woody.  
"Another round?" Paul asked irritated.  
"Actually no….I came for Christian reasons" Woody told him seriously   
"Excuse me?" Paula raised an eyebrow  
"I want to confess."

Paul was in the confessionary….."_How strange life is. First I'm who has to answer the questions and now it's him. Weird."_ he thought at Woody starts to speak  
"Forgive me father for I have sinned it has been 3 months since my last confession" Woody starts  
"And what is it that you wish to confess?" Paul asked.  
"I'm getting married to a great woman." Woody started, "But I love another one. She ran away and she's pregnant with my child. I've been lying to my fiancée ever since I got the good-bye letter. I've been trying to track her down ever since that night, but she evaporated in thin air." He stared the priest.  
"Well, those aren't really **_sins_** expect for having pre marital sex." Paul said trying to calm the moment but Woody went on.  
"And the one man, who knows where I can find her, refuses to tell me. The one person on Earth that can allow my child to have both parents says he cannot help me." Woody finish sadly  
Paul didn't answer. He couldn't.  
"How can you officiate a ceremony knowing what you know?" Woody tried, but he just couldn't understand "When you know I love Jordan and I want her and our child. How can you allow this to go on?"  
"That is not my choice." Paul shot back, "You have free will to end the commitment with Tallulah whenever you want. The problem is your lack of strength."  
"Excuse me!"  
"If you love Jordan as much as you claim ever since she left, you would have listened to her when she tried to tell you how she felt." the priest stated, "More than once."  
"I..." Woody started.  
"You came seeking my advice, now you'll listen." Paul interrupted him "It's not all about you. It's not about when you want Jordan and when you don't. You chose to believe you were the rebound guy instead of listening to her. Whatever people tell me in confession is a secret that cannot be told to anyone else."  
"You will allow an innocent baby to grow up without a family? Allow Jordan to go through the pregnancy and raising a child by herself? Allow me to spend the rest of my life looking for her and knowing that YOU have the answer?"  
"Who ever told you Jordan won't have a family? And what makes you think she'll be single forever?"

Woody ran his hand through his hair. Paul had a point. There was nothing to assure Jordan would be single forever. And some other man could take the roll as his child's father, as the man to spend the rest of his life with Jordan. So unfair! So damn unfair! That was his plan, his dream. There were absolutely no leads on Jordan. She sure knew how to cover her tracks. That was driving him insane. He thought marring Lu was what he wanted. She's stable, she won't run, she's... almost perfect. But she's not Jordan. To be perfect she would have to be Jordan.

The air seemed to lack of his lungs every time he thought about all that was going on. He didn't know what to do. Ok, he did know what the right thing to do was, but he didn't have the guts. Maybe he could get over Jordan. And act as if that night never happened, as if a child wasn't conceived at that moment. As if it wasn't his child. Maybe he could love Lu as time went by. She was a good person, caring, stable... He really could learn to love her. But what if he couldn't? And as those 'what ifs' started to pop into his head and make it feel like hell.   
"You need to realize what you really want and go after that." Paul advised him "Not what seems to be easier or safer, but what you truly want"   
Woody looked up in shock at those words. They were the same ones he told Jordan the night at the "Inn" when she asks for his opinion. What was his answer? _" I think you already know. I think we always know what we want, deep down. Not what we say we want, but what we really want" _she smiled to him then and said the he was right. It was him? She wanted him?  
"So any advice?"   
"More? I'm not you - you have to answer that. What do you feel? What would you feel if in 20 years more when maybe you have to meet your daughter? How are you going to explain all of this to her?"  
"I…I don't know." Woody looked up helplessly  
"What about your future wife? How she is going to take it when you have to tell her all about this?"  
Woody remained silent.  
"As far as I know you have to think about what you want. Then and only then we can talk…" Paul finished walking away of the confessionary "Good day Detective"  
Woody stay in church for a while…thinking…and in some ways …many of them…he knows what he needs to do…..but the price was the highest thing ever and he wasn't sure if he want to pay for it

------------------------------------------------------

Jordan was getting boring every day and more annoyed…_"Humans are not making to pass 3 months in bed" _she thought, looking throw the window again, for….maybe for 100 times. She could even say what people do every day, pointed one by one, say what they like….even she named all…and she inventing so many stories the she start to think … it was losing her mind…"Oh there is mister lover…I wonder if the husband is going to catch one day…well he is a bastard, the even the most saint person can justify that…" she grin comic to herself  
"Uh-uh….slow down sweetie…" Jordan says to her now expanded belly…"Mommy really needs the you be calm for you own sake" she whisper….in fact the last orders of her Doctor were drastic…No walk, no outs…just lay in bed until the baby born…and there she was counting the days…one month and the baby would be in the world…Jordan want to cry only to think about, she never count as a very emotional person …but this baby was so especial…so wanted….the she was all girlie at the time…"well the impossibility on move is a factor too" she said, looking around and laughing at the view. All her room was, pink, purple and yellow….and white of curse…Who can thought she would do such a things?...probably not even God in self…she learn everything about the baby, she make the decorating of the crib by herself…a friend passing a machine to do the sheets and as her main test, she even learn to make clothes for baby's…with crochet…and the fluffy things…."Yeah who can thought about this?" she said with a grin…"Probably Woody would say the I'm too affected by hormones…Woody" she whispers softly…the baby kicks again…"Yeah my little angel…that is daddy name…but he is far now…so far…" Jordan voice faded…

Paul normally sending her letter or calls, when he think was safe…and he give to her all the news…she knows the no one have lucky catch her…for now…Paul keeps his word….it doesn't matter how much all push ...he don't said a word….and she was eternally grateful for that…even the not always his news were goods…well faith not only give you want you wants…what it say that stupid legend the she read the other day?...Ah!  
**_"Ever since the world began to turns and until it ends. One has their man in the beginning or gets it in the end. But have it from the principle at the end, without requesting it or wanting to render it. Is what all the women aspire and what the Gods cannot grant."_**…Jordan laughs at the memories…but was a bitterness laugh…one full of the real feelings in her. Well she didn't have it ever, not at the beginning, not at the end…Jordan sigh in frustration …well it her decision….her…  
The phone starts to ring.  
"Ciao?"   
"Uh…Hey !...How are you?" Paul voice asks  
"Paul!…Oh well as fine you can expect but…I'm losing my mind here…" Jordan starts  
"It just for a little while…then you would pray for a moment in bed..." Paul joked  
"Bet I would do!" Jordan laughs at the comment  
"What the Doctor said?"  
"Same…keep you ass in bed…try only to go to the bathroom"  
"Wow!...this time he was more drastic…why?" he asks worried  
"I bleeding the other day …so" Jordan said low  
"What?...and you were alone…and"  
"Calm down Paul….Bianca was here" Jordan tried to relax his friend   
"Phew….So she stays with you?" he asks relief.  
"Yeah, well in the begging no…but now nearly make guard over me, 24 hours…she stay here late and back in the first hours of the morning…, until the baby born…"  
"I'm glad the she is more a simple nurse and neighbor for you now Jordan…" Paul said  
"Well …it was inevitable… "leaving" with someone for 4 months …really helps, even the she don't really leave here" she laugh  
"So… you pick the name?"  
"Yeah I did" Jordan said softly  
"Can I know?" Paul asks mocking  
"You wouldn't laugh, right?"  
"Why I should laugh?" Paul asks worried…_"what kind name Jordan picks"_…he thought  
"Well since we are going to leave here…I pick an Italian name…" Jordan said quickly  
"Oh…I'll try then" he said trying not to laugh…but the sound's betray him  
"Paul!" Jordan yelled  
"Joking…so?"   
"Caterina Elena Cavanaugh" Jordan said….she wait for Paul's reaction…silence…"Paul are you there?"  
"Yeah…I'm thinking in what to say…" he said  
"Paul!" Jordan loud  
"I love it Jordan" he said quickly…"really…is a beautiful name"  
"Hmm" Jordan don't was 100 convinced  
"Oh come on!...a couple a jokes for this poor Priest can't annoy you" he begged  
"Okay….and why you are a poor Priest?" Jordan said comic  
"I think the you know that very well by now" Paul said  
"Oh then that means you have another round with Woody..."   
"Bingo!...but this time ..I make the questions..." Paul says slowly  
"What?" Jordan scream…"what on earth?"  
"Yeah he comes to confesses"  
"Oh" Jordan said surprising  
"Impress?" Paul asks catching the tone in Jordan voice  
"No, I just….never thought the he was to see you…"  
"I think it was just a way to push…" Paul said…"But he was very honest…"  
"And?" she asks expectantly  
"Sorry Jordan…..Confession secret..."  
"Damn!...that's unfair…" she said annoyed  
"Kettle this is pot….who is save by the same status?" Paul asks sarcastic   
"Touché…got it" Jordan angry  
"Oh…don't get mad…if it was for me …I would slap both and obliged to talk"   
"Remain I never am around you then…" Jordan replies  
"Funny!….is true Jordan …you two need and should talk!" Paul said angry  
"How many times I tell you the "It would be a cold day in hell"…"Jordan starts  
"Yes I know…but that don't change the facts….you two are wasting their life's…and..," Paul stop it was a little noise and…  
"Ciao... come ritenete?" a female voice said…  
"Buon... ottengo appena alesante più e più..." Jordan said   
"Desiderate mantenere la cassaforte di Caterina, destra?" Bianca, the nurse was speaking   
"Sì" Jordan nod  
"Allora non protesti….E detto ciao a Paul per me..." Bianca put the groceries in the kitchen  
"Beni, Beni"….Sorry Bianca is here…" Jordan said to Paul  
"Kinda I noticed…listen I have to go…I just want to check you…take care ...Okay?" he asks  
"I will…and if I not Bianca would kill me…..bye"

-------------------------------------------------------------

Woody was trying hard to pay attention. This was the eleventh place they had looked at. This one was a Japanese Garden, but at this point, he had forgotten everything past place number two.  
"The advantage of this place is its location. It has good parking, a very fresh atmosphere, and is very romantic!" the wedding planner, Samantha, was saying.  
"It's very beautiful," said Lu looking around.  
"So?" Samantha asked.  
"Yeah this is it!" Lu said, at the same time Woody pitched in with, "I say check another."  
"Ahh, I'll give you a moment alone," Samantha moved away quickly. Wedding battles always were a nasty show.  
"You don't like?" "You like it?" they asked at the same time.   
"It's not that I don't like it. I just don't know if Japanese things are my style," Woody explained.  
"But look around hun," Lu argued waving to their surroundings. "It's beautiful! We can put the tables here, and the dance floor, there. You can't visualise it?"  
"But…" Woody started to retort.  
"Please, please Woody, please!" Lu pouted.  
"Ok, let's take it," Woody caved.  
"Yay!" she screamed, jumping to hug Woody.  
"Ah, there is nothing more pathetic than a groom under the strict orders of his bride," Samantha said as she watched the scene unfold.   
"They aren't always like that?" her assistant, Marianne asked.  
"No they're not, and those are the ones that will finish in divorce." Her boss pointed sarcastically.  
"Because the bride picks everything?" Marianne asked, not convinced.  
"No," Samantha explained, "because the bride doesn't respect her groom. They are not planning the wedding together. I'll bet my job that those two never talk about what kind of wedding he dreams about."   
"Dreams?" Marianne asked sceptically.  
"Yeah, every groom has at least some sort of an idea of what they want on their wedding day. It's wrong to ignore them completely."  
"Oh! So you're making predictions about their marriage?" Marianne joked.  
"No," Samantha smiled, "but after 10 years of watching couples going to the altar. I think I have some experience with these things." She grinned evilly.  
"So what is your final ruling," Marianne mocked.  
"That doesn't come until they choose the song." Samantha shushed Marianne as Woody and Lu walked back towards them.  
"We've made a decision," Lu began. Smiling she looked to Woody, and then to Samantha, "and we'll keep this place!"  
"Oh, congrats honey. Then I'll start to organize everything. Ah, there is something that I don't know yet." Samantha said.  
"What is that?" Woody asked.  
"Do you have a song?" Samantha asked seriously.  
"We haven't thought about it," came the reply from Lu.  
"But you need a song! I mean, all couples have one," Marianne pointed out.  
"We'll search for one," Lu amended quickly.  
"We have a CD set with like a thousand songs! Want to hear it?" Samantha offered.  
"That would be fantastic," Lu accepted.  
Thirty minutes later, no one was happy.  
"No, no, no, no!" Lu kept repeating.  
"This one is very nice," Samantha suggested, trying desperately to end the torture. Woody's stomach flipped when he heard **_'Ordinary People' _**start to play. There is no way that he would use 'their' song with Lu.  
"I-I.." he stammered.  
"I don't like John Legend," Lu interrupted.  
_"Thank God" _Woody mentally sighed with relief.  
"Ah, this one Woody! Olivia Newton John, **_'I Honestly Love You" _**Lu cried.  
"Oh dear," Samantha said softly.  
"Is something wrong with this song?" Lu asked worriedly.  
"No, no. It's perfect. No more searching required," she answered quickly.  
"I knew it," Lu smiled, "So is that all you need?"  
"For now, yes. Next week we are going to see the caterers," Samantha said checking her schedule.  
"We'll see you then," Lu said, walking to the car with Woody.  
"Next time you offer a couple help to pick out a song, count me out," Marianne stated when the two were out of earshot, thoroughly annoyed.   
"Me too," Samantha said, stroking her aching head.  
"So the song they picked, what's wrong with it?" Marianne inquired.   
"Ah, we can classify this couple now," Samantha started.  
"And?" Marianne said expectantly, "Come on! I'm eating my nails here!"   
"Gee, relax." Samantha laughed with an evil smile. "With that silly, fluffy, unoriginal song, they won't last more than 3 months."  
Both women laughed mischievously.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Days were long; Jordan felt as though each was an eternity. "But it's worth the wait," she spoke aloud, caressing her belly. "I'm so impatient! I want to hold you, my little sunshine" Jordan couldn't help but smile. One month. No, 29 days to go. Soon her little baby would be here. She never really thought she'd have children, but now that she'll be a mom soon, it seemed as though she had always been living only for that very day. Then she began to think about him again. What happened to them? She had been running, and he had followed her. When she had decided it was time to stop and take a leap of faith, he wasn't there anymore. He was far away. Didn't he see her stop running? Did he keep running after her wind?   
She felt a movement from her belly. "Yes sweetheart, I'll stop thinking of memories that make me feel sad. But I don't regret anything, because I have you now. You are the most beautiful gift I could ever wish for." She turned her CD stereo on, trying not to think about who gave her that little miss. Then she heard it. Tears began to fall from her eyes, and she couldn't do anything to stop them. Her CD was playing it. **_'Ordinary People'…_** Woody…  
She needed a tissue but Bianca was out, shopping for something to eat. Jordan stood up slowly and moved towards the bathroom. The tissue box was laying on the wash-stand. She had almost reached it when she began to feel dizzy, and the room went black.

The lights were so strong that they hurt her head. She made an effort to open her eyes. At first she couldn't distinguish the forms, and the voices sounded weird.  
"Sta svegliando," Jordan heard someone say.  
"Where am I," Jordan shook her head, "Dove sono?"  
"Ma'am? Ma'am, can you hear me?" a woman who looked like a doctor asked her in heavily accented English.  
"You're in the hospital. You fainted and fell, you lost some blood but you'll be fine."  
_Hospital... Blood... Fainting... Falling... _"My baby!" Jordan cried, fully awake and looking scared. 'No! Caterina!' She couldn't afford to lose her!  
"Your baby is okay," Jordan put her hands on her belly; she could still feel the baby moving.  
"Oh thank God," she sighed, a little less worried.  
"Ma'am, the baby is okay, but you can't carry to term." Jordan became alarmed again. "With all the blood you've lost, and since Miss Bianca told me that you've had a problematic pregnancy, I'd prefer to provoke the birth now." Normally Jordan would have analyzed the information given to her, but it seemed that the only fact that had reached her head was, 'You could lose your child'. She looked at the doctor, feeling panicked.  
"It will be safer for you and for the baby. Plus you're 8 months pregnant, and we've done an ultrasound. The baby's okay." Jordan recorded another piece of information, 'the baby's okay'.  
"We are ready to intervene, but you can call the father if you like, and we'll wait for him."  
The Father... "He... He's... I, We don't have any contact."   
The doctor nodded. "So if you're ready, we can start whenever you want."  
"Can... Bianca stays with me? I mean, if she's still here."  
"Of course," she smiled at Jordan. Even if the father wasn't with her, she was glad she wasn't alone. ."Okay let's do this, Mommy," Bianca took Jordan's hand  
"Sure," Jordan said softly, too softly.  
"Jordan, are you alright?" Bianca reached for Jordan's Pulse. "Oh my god, Doctor!"  
"Her pressure is dropping! We need to do this now, or we could lose both of them. Abbiamo tutti pronto per il cecerian!"  
"Pronto," the team of doctors answered.  
"Jordan! Jordan, stay away! Jordan!" Bianca was calling.  
"I love you, Caterina baby," Jordan whispered.  
"Don't do this! Stay awake for your baby," Bianca begged.  
"Bi-aa-nca?" Jordan stammered weakly.  
"Yes?"   
"If I don't make it," Jordan started.  
"Don't ever say that!"  
"Tell him, Woody, that I'm," Jordan took a long pause, "sorry, and that I-I..." she couldn't finish. At that moment the other nurse put a mask on Jordan's face and she drifted off.

------------------------------

"Hello?" Paul answered the phone sleepily.  
"Paul?" a weak voice with an Italian accent spoke.  
"Who is this?" His mind was still fuzzy.  
"Bianca"   
"Bianca?" Paul made an effort to get his mind straight. "Bianca.. Bianca!" Fear took hold of Paul's heart. "Jordan," After hearing the news, he clicked off the phone, and looked out the window. The shadowed moonlight reflected the tears that started to fall from his eyes.


	4. La notte di allineare

**Ple****ase girls don't kill me...haha...this is really sad!...I promise the this fic has a happy ending ..I swore!  
**

**------------------------------------------------------------ **

**Chapter 4: La notte di allineare **(The Night of the True)

Jordan looked out over the ocean. The huge, cold and blue ocean. The Atlantic. How many times had she looked to it and just saw a huge portion of water? Thousands? Even more probably….but now, that ocean have a complete new significance for her. It was the physical fact the divide her away from all of one day she lives and love. Boston seems so far now….nearly like a gloomy, murky memory. She always kept telling that to herself, she always seemed to be lucky until she look over the ocean, heard the sounds of sirens our look into a pair of blue eyes.  
She was enjoying this visit to Spain, until the she start to watch the sea and the memories overbold her. Even more, when she was looking every five minutes, into a pair of blue eyes. A very blue one's. She have a bright pair, always opened, of blue eyes, like she wanted to know every thing the surrounded her. Those eyes were even brighter when focus here gaze into a pair of whisky- grey coloured eyes and extends a little pair of arms to the owner of those eyes.  
Jordan turns her attention to another place…only to catch a young couple…they were laughing and not paying attention to anyone else than them. The young woman smile to the man she loves, yeah you could see the true love in her eyes….as much you can see that same love reflected in the eyes of him.  
"So"…she said  
"So"…he response  
"Stop mocking me"…she said and taking the hand of him, entangled their fingers.   
"I'm not mocking you," he said with a grin at the same time the he reaches for her in one vast hug.  
"You're just spoiling me" she said looking in his gaze with a smile.   
"Sure….and I have the rest of my life to compensate that, isn't?" he said taking her left hand stroking the finger who allowed a ring…..an engaged ring.

_"Engaged" _Jordan thought and remembering some parts of Paul last letter…:   
_"Things are good over here Jordan. Your friends in the morgue are stopping to try to find you…at last….one more round of questions and I couldn't have held it anymore…especially when I saw **" You-know-who"**, the dark circles in his eyes told me the he knows the true…even the he didn't say it once. __  
__Thanks' God the he never thread me with a gun!...He knows I know something Jordan ….is a miracle the he didn't realize HOW much I know…sure I am death men when he figures out"_  
Jordan smiled to that comment, she really know how kind of trouble the poor Paul was having for her, for the last seven months. Because he calls her every day, until they have the fears the Nigel could trace the calls…_"Oh God! That really was extreme!"_ Jordan thought with a comic grin…. "Nige really wants to found me…I guess I did a well job 'erasing' my foot's steps …isn't sweetie?" she said smiling to the lovely little thing was in her bassinet. "But is shouldn't be proud of that, you know sweetie pie?" she said playing with a little bear….the bear the Paul send it when Caterina had been born.

_"How is the little thing?" _he asked in the letter "_Bet she is more beautiful every day like her mommy…Sure she have little curl's already in her head….you have to send it to me a new picture!...I was so worried for you …I pray the entire night when Bianca call's…I thought the maybe I should tell to everyone the it was one orphan in the other side of the world….they need to pick…Dear Lord!...how I was supposed to tell to **"You know who"**….the…well…..thanks' to God the nothing happen Jordan …and you and Caterina are alright…" _  
Jordan memory's back to that awful night…When she lost the track of her mind having a strong painful, the hurting her belly. Bianca calls her doctor, who sends it an ambulance immediately. She lost a lot of blood…but she fight all the time to bring her baby to the world…her precious gift…and Caterina born…at the eight months….a tiny soft little thing….with blue eyes. Her daughter was okay in a couple of day…but her Mommy …fight between death and life for a week….she lost so much blood for the placenta…the Doctors thought the she didn't make it. They were wrong…she did…and Jordan knows the deeply in her heart it was the knowledge the she couldn't leave her daughter to suffer the same the she did, what make it survive and even the she don't want to admit it …she also fight for never to see Caterina in the arms of other woman….that woman…her…

_"Well you asked for it…I don't have good news…sorry to be an angel of bad news for you…and her…Soon we would have to officiated a wedding here…his wedding…I'm so sorry Jordan …he did what you say…keep leaving…But I don't know how successful he is in this…because every time I saw him ….men! If grooms looks like that…I'm glad to be a Priest…" _

Jordan smile mischievously. He wasn't happy, or a least Paul make it look in that way - even it was a twisted, jealous thought…it was some kind of … "How call they?...yeah square the game"…Jordan say to herself "I can't be with him…so he doesn't deserve to be happy….and after all I think the I have the best part of him, right here" She say picking Caterina up and putting the little baby in her arms…"Hey, little princess, I wish you could tell me what you are thinking….. You're probably thinking Mommy is crazy, right?...and in some ways I'm ……I'm broken inside"  
Jordan hide her faces in the baby body….surrender by her smell…the sweet smell the only bellows to baby's….she try to organize her head …putting away the thoughts about Boston ..and Woody….a Woody the probably right was telling sweet things to another woman…not her …not now…not ever… The sobs started to grow. She tried to control her self….Caterina start to cry too….  
"Don't cry sweetie, is fine…you don't have to be like Mommy...even you probably know why Mommy is crying, right?" She look deep into the baby's eyes…those blue eyes…"Yeah you know…I lost him forever …and you lost your Daddy too…" Caterina cry's grow more then …like she could understand the real meaning in Jordan's words.  
"Shhh….don't cry"….Jordan start to sing to her daughter _"Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes. Come on and come to me now. Don't be ashamed to cry. Let me see you through, 'cause I've seen the dark side too. When the night falls on you. You don't know what to do, Nothing you confess, Could make me love you less" _Caterina Smiled to her mother "I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you…..I'll stand by you"…Caterina start to laughs…  
"So I miei occhi blu dolci" Jordan says…"I'll stand by you….and you never would be alone" she kiss her daughter cheek and give her a hug…"That kiss is for your Daddy…..I'm sure the he loves you …even the he can't be with you….but is the right thing Cate… even the Daddy is so far …and probably…happiest"…Jordan smile sadly…she couldn't even know how wrong she was with that….

---------------------------------------------------------

The cold wind was shocking over his face. It was only spring not summer yet. Two months only…two months and his life totally change it. Flowers, dress, rings, music, all those things were almost done…but the only thing the really was in his mind…it wasn't a blonde lovely woman our the last weddings details…..in reality was two women in some part across the sea, on the horizon what he really cares deeply. Jordan and his daughter. How he knew it was a girl…he couldn't say - maybe was the awful nightmares when he saw Jordan and her daughter in danger or the sweet dreams where the were together…and he could kiss her daughter every night ….and so his wife…wife….but his wife wouldn't be Jordan…not her…and he would never meet her daughter….maybe when she grows Jordan would let her meet him…and what he would say it….that was even more painful then his nightmares and memories.  
He looks over the horizon again….like he knows the thousand of kilometers there …someone was thinking the same things….ands suffering over the same thoughts.  
Thousand of question were running in his mind…How she looks like? Would she have his eyes or Jordan eyes? He could have killed, just to know what his daughter looked like…..it would some kind of relief….a least he could know something about her…even the he was to ashamed to admit it …he have picture of his daughter in his mind….a little soft thing...with blue eyes and a dark chestnut hair…..with little curl's of course….he loves those curl's …they were so soft and naturals…he loves to stroke with his fingers those curl's …so soft's and the same time prickles….like her owner…like Jordan…."Jordan" he whispers to him self "Damn Jordan! Why did you have to run? Why do you always have to run? Don't you know how happy I would be with you…and a kid ?" he covered his face with his hand…"Of course you didn't know….I told you the I was a rebound guy….why a guy like that would want a kid…right?" he asked sadly to the horizon. "I just screw up everything…and I don't have even a chance to correct things…"  
His cellophane start to ring.  
"Hello…slows down Lu …The wedding cake? You can't because you still are with the dress thing?...no, no is not a trouble I will go." He clicks off….and back to the reality with that…"This is reality…..no Jordan, not daughter….not happily ever after" he thought fighting with the tears the his eyes want to relief…so his heart…looking to the Ocean one more time before to left he whisper "Farewell…you two…I search for you two …I swear…I tried the best I could do….I moved heaven and earth but nothing happened …you didn't came to me…as you always did. There was nothing, where once there was everything. I just hope the where ever you are, you can have the happiness the you deserve it…with someone to knows how special you are…and take you, every morning, ever afternoon, and keep you heart safe, as I never did - as I never could…"

---------------------------------------------

Jordan sat up, suddenly…and feeling a immeasurable pain in her heart…she look to her next sit, Caterina was asleep, very asleep….making little suds with her mouth, but Jordan still feels the pain…like someone was crying for her….for a deep needing of her….and the most bitterness thing...was the she want to help…to who ever was…and she couldn't….even the she tried hard to comfort that person…she couldn't _"Why…Why I feel like I know the something is wrong …so wrong…. like the someone is going to commit a enormous mistake…and it would regret forever for that" Jordan thought…she look over the bus window…they were close to home know…"to more hours and we where in home Cate…"_ she says taking the baby's hand…it was so little….so lovely…her heart naturally full's of love for this little creature when she saw her for first time…and it was even more precious for all what she could have from her…..in some way…she still have Woody with her…and it always with be…Jordan press a kiss in her daughter head…and hear a awful sound….she looking to the front of the bus …to only have a fraction of second to see the truck the it was to hit the bus….

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Woody wake up covered in cold sweat and breathing hard he thanked God that Lu wasn't with him that night, because he woke up screaming Jordan's name. He had tried to save her for a huge danger…and he failed…and the worst part was the he knows the if something happened to Jordan…her daughter must be in dangerous too…and he couldn't do a damn thing….and something happened, he could swore….he knows….he really knows…almost can feel it….like it was his own skin who was suffering for that fact….

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Jordan head was fuzzy….but she could smell the smoke and hear the fire…and cries…over the entire place…painful ones…and screaming's for help…then the reality hit her…"Caterina!" Jordan yelled desperate, she remembers the bus and the camion…then the crash…and how she tried to protect Caterina…  
Jordan tried to stand up …she couldn't …the seat behind her was trapped her legs….then she saw the baby seat….and saw Caterina crying.  
"Hey Cathy, I'm right here …don't be scared baby…Mommy will take you away from this."  
Jordan finds somehow to get her legs free…she was in huge pain, but the necessity to place her daughter safe was stronger than anything. She put out Caterina of the sit and look the baby was fine…the sit protect her of the hits….It was then when Jordan noticed the bus wasn't stable…she look over the broken windows to see with horror the it was almost to fall over a rock face.  
"Oh my God" Jordan swallowed hard "I need to put her safe…before the this thing…..falls to nowhere" In a enormous attempt Jordan drag Caterina in a safe place out of the bus… once the baby was safe in the arms of a bystander, she went back to the bus to see if could help some people…she wasn't counting on the fact that the bus was more instable the what she thought …because in the moment the she back to inside …the bus fell into the abyss.

----------------------------------------------

He tried to back to sleep…but he couldn't….his nightmares backs over and over, every time the he could sleep for a few moments…and every time the nightmare was more awful…fire, cries…he stand up for the bed and go to take a glass of water from the kitchen…trying to driving away his terrible thoughts. He was ready to back to the bed, still absorb in his dreams, when the phone starts to sound ….one ring, two….only at the five …Woody could think straight to grab for them….   
"Hello" He answered   
"Detective Hoyt?" a male voice asks  
"Is 4 in the morning" he wasn't on call that night "Who's is this?" Woody asks intrigued  
"I'm Paul…I'm Jordan's…"  
"Priest." Woody finished.  
"Oh….friend I would say." Paul take a deep breath "I'm afraid I don't have goods news" he said desolately…A profound panic rise in Woody's heart "It was an accident….like two hours ago..."   
"No, no, no…" Woody denied believing it.  
"Jordan was there…with Caterina" Paul voice faded…  
"Caterina" he thought. Jordan picked an Italian name…it was the first time the he hears her daughter name….and maybe the last one…the fear and desperation make Woody could ask ….it was better know…"They are..?"  
"Caterina is fine ….a least that was they said over the phone…your daughter is alive" Paul say trying to give some relief to Woody…"but they can't find Jordan…they don't know …if she is…" Paul inhale heavily. "Dead or not."  
"No…." Woody swallow hard - Jordan couldn't be dead…she never would leave her daughter alone….never...she couldn't leave her…"They look everywhere?" he asks  
"They don't give me lot of details…they just told me it was an accident between the bus and a truck, I'm so sorry…."  
"You always know where Jordan was…right?" Woody say in a low tone "Always…and now…maybe I can't ever see her again!" Tears started to well in Woody's eyes as the panic rose.  
"I know that I don't have an excuse…but it was a confession….but right now your daughter needs you…she is alone in a country when nobody care about her she…" Paul said.  
"I've in the airport in one hour…meet me there." Woody say clicking off the phone…to look around …and see how all the memories about Jordan start to pass over his mind and eyes….and disappears so quickly as she was gone for his life…forever…and this time for real….so real…if he could throw things for over the place he might feel better …but it was nothing...nothing...except the overbold feeling of ….lost.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Garret, what's wrong?" Lily asked worried as her boss put the phone down.  
The chief ME didn't have a good expression on his face.  
"Garret, what's wrong?" the grief counselor asked again "Please! You're scaring me."  
"It was Woody." Garret started "He's off to Italy in 30 minutes."  
"Italy? What is Woodrow going to do in Italy?" Nigel questioned.  
"He's going for Jordan…" Garret start to say …but Nigel cut him  
"He finally found her?" Nigel screams "Italy…sweet Mary in the manger…what was she doing in…"  
"Nigel!" Garret cut him as well… "Actually he's going for Jordan's daughter  
"Jordan daughter?" Lily and Nigel screamed at the same time  
"That was the reason, of why she left Boston, she was pregnant." Garret said miserably "Woody is the baby's father."  
"Woody? How? What?" Lily was really confused.  
"He always knew about the pregnancy…but he couldn't catch Jordan at time…when she run away and now...well something happened."  
"What happened to Jordan?" Bug overheard his colleague's name and stepped into the office.  
Garret swallowed hard and pointed the couch for them to sit.  
Lily, Nigel and Bug exchanged a look before sitting down.  
"There..." Garret voice faded…and takes a painful sound "was an accident. A bus and a truck crashed and Jordan was in the bus with her baby. Caterina is fine, but they haven't found Jordan." Garret told them.  
"Jordan is alive, right?" Nigel asked afraid of the answer.  
"They don't know." Garret took his seat behind his desk.  
Lily swallowed hard as she thought her friend could be... Oh, God! She didn't even want to think of that word.  
"Jordan is gonna be fine." Bug assured her "She's strong." she rubbed her back in a comforting way

-----------------------------------------------------

Woody was waiting for his plane, after a call to Garret and Lu he had grabbed a bag and gone to the airport as fast he could, thinking over and over that in 10 hours he could meet her daughter, a child with out a mother. The guilty was so deep, he can't even think how he could explain to his daughter in the future, why his mother died…why he couldn't protect her…  
"Detective Hoyt," a familiar voice called.  
"Paul."   
"I'm so sorry, but we really don't have time, here, this all that I have about Jordan and Caterina….the address and some numbers of a few peoples there….I'm sorry… I forgot the pictures…."  
"Hey, I'm gonna have to call you back, ok?" Lu didn't wait for the answer and slammed her cell closed. Her eyes had to be wrong. He couldn't be there. What would he be doing there? It was her case, he wasn't on call. "Woody?" the detective-slash-shrink called out.  
He turned around to find his fiancée with a puzzled look.  
"Did you plan on telling me?" she pointed the bags and the boarding pass with her eyes.  
"I left a note. Your cell wasn't answering." Woody started calmly. He was pretty sure it wouldn't be pretty. "I'm off to Italy." he assumed that would be the next question.  
"I'm sorry, what?" Lu shook her head quickly as if throwing the supposed-to-be-wrong information out of her ears.  
"I'm off to Italy." Woody repeated "Jordan and our baby were on an accident..."  
"Baby!" Lu interrupted him "You have a child and you have never told me?" she was praying she had got something wrong. "You have a child with Jordan and you've never told me?" and that was an unanswered prayer.  
"Jor left because she was pregnant with my child. It happened before we started dating." Woody tried to explain, but for some reason, women never really bought the 'it was before us' excuse. Even though it was true. "Caterina is at the hospital and they can't seem to find Jordan."  
Lu stared the floor for a second and swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, but I'm still a little in shock that my fiancé has a daughter that I've never heard of." she said as her blood started to rise.  
"I kinda didn't know about Caterina either!" Woody said defensively "I've been trying to find Jordan, but she sure knows how to cover her tracks."  
"So the whole 'she's a grown up and can do whatever she wants, including drop of the face of Earth' was a bunch of crap?" Lu asked angrily.  
"Oh, and what the hell was I supposed to tell you? 'By the way, Lu, I'm trying to track my ex-almost girlfriend down because she's pregnant of me'." Woody answered sarcastically "Sounds freaking awesome. Especially with you planning our wedding."  
"That one based on a big fat lie?" Lu accused "You've always said nothing happened between you and Jordan and now she's the 'ex-almost girlfriend'? And conceiving a child is what you call 'nothing'? Man! I wonder what I'm gonna find out when 'something' actually happens."   
"For Christ's sake, it's no big deal."  
"A baby is no big deal!"  
"Of course our daughter is a big deal. What is not one is Jordan and I." he explained "What happened between us was completely..."   
"Us? There's an 'us'?"  
"Will you let me finish?" Woody shot her with his blue eyes.  
"Sure. Go on." Lu crossed her arms over her chest.  
"There were years of dancing around. Yes, I have feelings for her, but..."   
"Have!" Lu yelled.  
"I said 'had'." Woody assured.  
"Then I have hearing problems."  
"I got sick of the dancing around and moved on."  
"So now I'm rebound?"  
"There wouldn't be a ring on your finger if you were rebound." Woody pointed the engagement ring with his eyes.  
"You would have told me about your baby and 'Jordan operation' if you didn't feel like you were cheating on me."  
"Wow! Now hold it right there! 'Jordan operation'? Cheating on you!" all the stress had to be affecting his audition. Lu couldn't have just said that. "You're crazy!" he stated.  
"No, you are. You never had the decency to tell my about your child!"   
"A child I had no idea of how to find!"  
"Still your child! You're flying over the Atlantic because of her. And I bet you called the morgue to let them know."  
"That's ridiculous!"  
"Did you call them? Yes or no?" Lu insisted.

**"Your attention please, American Airlines announce his flight, 789 with destiny to Italy, Rome…Passengers should be aboard for gate 14" **the female voice announced by the speakers.

"I gotta go. We'll talk this over once I get back, ok?" he said as calmly as possible in this situation.  
"You bet I …" Lu nodded.  
"Don't" he make a movement with his hand to make it her stop…."I'm sorry I never told you …and I always knew it….I guess we all keeps secrets…"  
"Don't do this" Lu start to plead  
"I couldn't let my daughter alone there….and I need to found her…."   
"So, that is" then anger full Lu body…."she IS the reason…not the baby…"   
"Both are…" Woody says angry too, she was making a scene in a moment like this…he just give her ticket to the lady and aboard…  
"Woody!" Lu screaming….he didn't turn  
"Let him go…." Paul says gentling touching Lu´s shoulder  
"But" she replies  
"There is nothing you can do…except for let him go" Paul said wisely  
"I can't let him go…if I do that it means the is over"…Lu said low and dejectedly  
"Is something bellows to you, let him go…if backs to you it is yours…but if not…never was your to be claimed." Paul said to her as the final sentence  
She nodded, she knows the he was right...it was just too hard to admit…but the only thing the she really can do was letting him go….watched how his plane flights to let him in the heart of another woman.

**((Italy)) **

Woody was sitting in the hospital lobby…waiting…after a complete night flying…he was really tired…but he won't sleep until the he can have the security, a least his daughter was fine. So if was necessary he would wait all the day….  
"Scusilo, voi sono Woodrow Hoyt?"  
"What?" Woody gives a massive puzzle look to the nurse….he was sure it was his name what she say...but what the hell she asking….  
"Yor è il padre di Caterina Cavanaugh?" the nurse asks again. Woody just nods "Venuto con me" the nurse say making a movement with her finger, showing to him the follow her. Woody go after the nurse to an office and inside was a doctor…..the doctor stands up and starts to talk to Woody. "Vostro il padre di Catherina... sono il suo medico, Marco... che la vostra figlia è benissimo, lei non ho alcune contusioni ma niente al preoccupato a a questo proposito…" The Doctor stop when he catch Woody desperate gaze "You don't understand Italian, right?" The doctor asks in clear English.  
Woody sigh relief before to speak "Thanks' God you speak English!…I'm Woody Hoyt…Caterina´s father" Woody shaked the Doctor hand.   
"You daughter is fine…she have almost not hurts…juts a little bruises…nothing to worried about it" the doctor repeat…but this time in English   
"Her mother?" Woody asks…hoping…  
"I'm sorry we only have your daughter here…we still don't receive her mother" the doctor said.  
"But she wasn't with the baby at the accident?" Woody asks confusing…he couldn't believe the Jordan let the baby alone…   
"They found the baby in one place far from the final impact" the doctor say…pointed the real facts.  
"Final impact?" Woody asks softly and low….that can't be good….   
"No one has told you?" the doctor says perplexed. "The bus fell down a rock face," he said in a low voice.  
Woody almost down to the floor with that…it can't be…she can't be… "Any survivors?" he asks hopeless  
"Yes, but a few one's …and with serious bruises and hurts all…but they are alive…..are you okay? The doctor was starting to get worried over Woody……in one moment all the colors in his face disappear.  
"No….I'm not…can I see my daughter?" he asks anxiously..."I need to..."   
"Sure…let me call Antonia, she talks English" the doctor smiled sadly….Ten minutes later a young nurse appears in the office…  
"Che cosa avete bisogno del medico?" she asks  
"Antonia. È il padre di Caterina Cavanaugh...take lui da vedere che lei...and lui non capisce l'italiano così…" the doctor say to her.  
"Nessun problema" she replies to the Doctor and then turning to Woody she speak in a perfect English "Come with me sir." Woody fallows the nurse until the maternity section.  
"There she is…" the nurse pointed throw the window  
"Where?….which one?" Woody asking trying to see which baby she was pointed.   
"There…the one dressed in purple….the tiny one's, she have three months and half….isn't she sweet?...is an angel…don't cry…even after all what happened to her."  
"Three months?" If he makes the estimate right…she can't be…  
"Yeah, she is premature"…the nurse says, predicted his thoughts "born at eight months, but she is fine …is a strong baby…"  
"Can I?" He wants to touch his baby…he need too…badly  
"Sure" the nurse enters in the room. "Wait me a little in the next room." The nurse returns with Cate in her arms…"There you go Daddy" and put Caterina in Woody's arms.  
Woody shivered for all his body at the first contact with his daughter…it was…his…and he would do anything for her…he would kill for her…if was necessary….he put a soft kiss in Cate head…at the same moment the tears invaded his eyes…  
"Hey princess" he whisper "I'm here now…you have nothing to worry about it…I look after you" a few tears start to down from his eyes… " we will find your mommy …I promise….I swear to God that we will find her," he said softly…Cate move a little in Woody's arms, as she would want to see who was talking to her, he tried to keep her asleep…but the Caterina suddenly opens her eyes…..a blue pair of eyes so much like hem's…  
"Now I see from where she gets those amazing eyes." the nurse said smiling '"You have a beautiful baby"  
"She is like her Mom….a gorgeous and sweet woman…my girls."  
"I'm so sorry about your wife…"  
"She isn't my wife…. but I'm the baby's father."  
"Oh." she smiled to him "Stays as long what you want….Now excuse me, I have to do something else there" she pointed to the same room when Caterina was before. After a few recommendations with the baby, the nurse let them alone.  
Caterina looks to Woody trying to found some kind of reaction…like she wants to know who was him …for her…he wasn't make it face or something, he just have his gaze focus in the baby eyes…so hard …the that scare Caterina, who start to cry with painful sobs…and making little suds with her mouth  
"Shhh….don't cry…every thing is going to be fine sweetie, I promises….I know the you don't know me…so you must be scare….but you know Cate…I'm your Daddy." He said smiling to her…but the baby still was sobbing….  
"You need help?" the nurse appears in the door…she smiled to Woody in complicit. "If you call her "I miei occhi blu dolci" she calms down, that means "my sweet blue eyes" she say winking an eyebrow and backing to her job.  
"Hey I miei occhi blu dolci." Woody really wasn't successful pronouncing that, but Caterina sobs start to fade….slowly….as Woody start to play with his baby, she start to laughing at him and grab his finger strongly with his little hand…Woody smiling back to Caterina….giving to her a soft kiss in her cheek ….and make it ticklish at purpose….the baby laugh again …a lovely laugh….the make his heart arched for love to his daughter. He lull Caterina…until she falls asleep again…in his arms…he have his daughter in his arms…something the he wants badly since eights months ago…..and it feel right, like he finally was found what was missing….but….he still need another piece to be complete happy….He needs Jordan …as much Caterina. The guilty locked in his heart again…he would never let her go…he should be running for her at the same moment the he felt the Jordan was lying to him…he might be reached for her….and if he would do that …now …they were the three together in home, as a family…not two lonely souls with out the woman they need and love.


	5. Una di queste notti

This chap became a pain in the ass for me ...but finally is here!  
Okay I dunno if is as good like the others and probably you are going to hate me!...hides

Thanks to Kate, Aly and Stephmuah...and Carol of course who is my co-writting 

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**Chapter 5: Una di queste notti (One of these Nights)**

The night was slow and painful. A long, low and sad night. That kind of night you wish to be able to erase from your mind and memories. Those long nights, when you remember every mistake, every word you didn't speak, every single thing you did to hurt someone else. And all the things you should've said but never did. All the things we should've done, that we never did. All the things we should've given, but we didn't. And you pray that some how someone or something can give you these moments back, give them back to us.

Every one of those regrets wasn't haunting his painful memories anymore. Because of soft and tiny body, curled in his arms was giving him some kind of ...relief. Her soft perfume, in some ways calming his soul, the was full of promises the we never make. And beside she reminds him so much of Jordan - the color of her hair, the curl's she would have when her hair got longer, the shape of her face - she was surrounded by Jordan's presence. Sure Jordan adored Caterina, he could bet the she was a terrific mother...was? no still is "Because mommy is no death princess" he whisper softly to his daughter while trying to believe the words himself. As the time past there still wasn't any news about Jordan and his hope were faded more and more. All the victims were just recovered bodies. No one alive was left alive. He could see the dark faces of the hospital personal. He could hear the screams even though he was on another floor. They knew with each passing hour the probability to found someone alive became less and less. They knew it the conforming the hours were passing, the probability to found someone alive …was more and more distant.

"I should have hope but I can't stop thinking," he said to himself in a whisper looking down again to his small daughter, "No I have to do it for her" Woody placed a soft kiss on the baby's cheek. Caterina snuggled a little into her father then opened her eyes. Woody was still amazed when he saw those eyes. They eyes that were exactly like his own.  
"Hey, princess" He said smiling but in response Caterina started to cry. Loudly. "Oh …calm down sweetie. Everything is fine" he tried to calm Caterina to no avail, "Oh What I do?" he asked out loud, gently rocking his daughter, wanted to cry in desperation too.  
"She must be hungry" Antonia appeared in the doorway again, smiling.   
"What?" Woody questioned, looking up.  
"It's been about five hours since the last time she ate. Come here, little one," Antonia said trying to take Caterina from Woody's arms. Woody kept his daughter firmly in his arms. "Can I?" he asked.   
"Ah?" Antonia gives him a puzzle look, "Ah Sorry! I forgot! Sure, wait for me here. I'll be back with the formula" She said and disappeared for minute. When she returned she was carrying a bottle.  
"Here Dad, you daughter needs to eat," She smiled passing the bottle to Woody. He looks to her saying with his eyes "What do I.." Antonia caught his gaze.  
"You've never feed your baby, before?" she smiling again "Watch how I do it, Dad" She took Caterina in her arms gentling putting her little head in the right position. The baby just did the rest, happily sucking on the bottle "See? She knows what she has to do. Here," She put Caterina back in Woody's arms, "Call me when she finish"   
Woody looked amused at how Caterina was eating her food but then again he noticed how much she needed her mother. How much she needed to be in her little bed, in her house. House. Woody realized he couldn't stay in a Hotel anymore - not with Caterina. He needed to find a place. But for that he would have to have certain arrangements and they couldn't be made by phone. That one would have to be done in person. Face to face.   
"Nurse? .uhh...Antonia?" he called  
"Yes?" Antonia appeared from in the doorway  
"I have a couple of questions…what do I need to take Cate with me?"   
"Uhh….well do you have any papers justify you are his father?" Woody shocks his head "Oh, then I think the you can't take her from the hospital ,you would need a blood test or someone can testify the you are the father and also, it would be great if the mother recognize you as well" She finishes  
Woody swallowed hard. He needs to do a lot of things. First to all call Paul. Then found a good lawyer." Antonia did you know any lawyer?" She nods.  
"Actually my fiancé can do it, if you want" Antonia says  
"Can you make the arraignments?" Woody replies  
"Sure …I would call him and….Bianca?" Antonia asks to the woman who was walking faster to them.  
"Antonia, perchè ha Caterina?" Bianca said  
"È il padre, lei è il suo proprio bambino, lui ha tutta la destra in mondo del thid"  
"Ma la sua madre non desidera questa!" Bianca yelled  
"Pozzo non è ora qui ed, è l'unica cosa lei ha ottenuto in questo mondo!"  
"Excuse me…There is the problem? Woody says looking to the angry faces of both women's  
"She is Bianca, your daughter nurse and neighbor. She knows Jordan pretty well" Antonia say annoyed  
"Oh!...Do you know when Jor is?" Woody say quickly…maybe she..  
"No…I don't know…sorry…I just found the Caterina was here…." Bianca say a little confused  
"Then why you make such a mess?" Antonia say angry  
"Is just the…well Jordan never talks about…" Bianca stammered  
"I know" Woody say softly ..."I understand….probably Jordan only said the she hates me" he smile sadly  
"No…I never heard one word like that coming for her lips" Bianca smile to Woody "I'm sorry…Is Just this situation overbold me….I'm Bianca, I'm her daughter legal guardian." She extended a hand to Woody  
"I see…" Woody said afraid...because this woman has all the power to take Caterina to whatever she wants.  
"You can come with me" Bianca say catching Woody's alarm…."to Jordan's apartment, Caterina would be better there"  
"Sure" Woody says, he knows the he need to take Cate to other place.  
"I give you my fiancé name and number" Antonia say passing a card to Woody "Call him in the morning. Now go home, take a rest and back with al the energy's to found her" she smile.  
"Thanks' you Antonia, for all this …really I'm" Woody replies taking the woman hand.  
"You welcome" she smile again  
"Can you give just a couple of seconds?" he says turning to Bianca "I need to make a call"  
"Sure, I get ready Caterina" 

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"Hello? ...Woody? Oh my God, Woody...did you?" Garret swallows hard.   
"Nothing yet," Woody tells him, "I'm just calling to say that I have Caterina here... my daughter. She is fine, sleeping now. I'm going to send you a couple pictures tomorrow."  
"Jordan?" Garret asks again.  
"I need your help Doctor Macy," Woody says softly, waiting for a angry answer.  
"Whatever you need son" Garret replies firmly "Right now I don't care how this happened, I just want Jordan safe"  
"I need to coordinate a search here, I need all that can be useful, so then we can find Jordan" Woody starts  
"I'll send Nigel to work right away" Garret says  
"Doctor Macy, uhhh You, well…Lu" Woody stammers  
"Yeah she was here" Garret say a little bit annoyed  
"Oh" Woody breathe, he didn't want that.  
"She yelled at us, saying we are just a confabulation family of deaths and the only thing we want is to screw up your life together" Garret says frustrated, "She is a child, a jealous woman, angry, hurt, pissed. Period. I can understand"  
"I should had ended this a long time ago" Woody said in a low tone   
"Yeah you should've…" Garret says harshly.  
"But I didn't" Woody replies "So I have to deal with the consequences."  
"Woody" Garret voice holds a warning.  
What do I do?" Woody starts to sound anxious "I have not right over my daughter. I exchanged her and her mother for"….Woody voice faded, **"Security"**. Not love, not passion. Not happily ever after."  
"Woody…"   
"No! It's true!" Woody yelled "What if...what am I going to tell her…..How…"   
"Then don't" Garret voice commanded, "Find Jordan and bring her back. And for now take care of your daughter."  
"But I don't know how."  
"You will learn. No parent knows everything at the beginning. It's a timing process - long and not always successful but full of happiness and rewards" Garret tells him trying to give him some comfort.   
"Yeah she is the most precious gift ever," Woody says looking to the little figure in her bassinet.  
"So then take care of that blessing. We'll be in touch," Garret replies.  
"Thanks Doc" Woody turned the phone off.  
"And?" Lily asks anxious.  
"Nothing on Jordan yet" Garret said sadly  
"The baby?" she asks worried  
"Fine. Caterina is with him now."  
"There is but there…" Lily pointed  
"He really doesn't know what to do. A single Dad, missing Mom and all the guilt that he can carry on his shoulders" Garret said dejectedly.  
"I must have been so tough on Woody" Lily said looking threw the window.   
"Well he knows that he has a lot of responsibility in this mess" Garret replies distracted too.  
"Yeah but" Lily says turning to Garret …"the price is higher than what ever he is waiting for" 

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"Here we are, that is my place and this one is….well you know" Bianca said quietly.  
"Jordan place," He replies softly.  
"Okay let's in!" Bianca replies, trying to be optimistic. She opens the door and immediately Woody thought that she maybe wrong. "_This can't be Jordan place"_ He thought

There were soft colors everywhere. Everything was neat and in place. Paintings were on the walls. Photographs of Lily, Nigel, Bug and Garret graced a desk. He wasn't a single one of them. That hurt. It hurt that she didn't even want to remember him. He tries to avoid that turning his attention to the kitchen. Again, everything was fixed up with flowers - purple tulips.  
"Why don't you put Caterina in her room?" Bianca suggests, "I'll prepare something to eat and her formula."  
"Sure," Woody says taking the bassinet, Caterina was sleeping in. He opens the door of the room. Only one room, but a very large one. Woody was surprised again. Jordan's room was always a mess and she had to have bright colors. But this room was white with soft colors. Actually the room looked like it was out of a magazine  
And it was full of girly stuff. Clothes for the baby, toys, flowers. Jordan was completely devoted to her baby. That made him feel even worse. She does it all alone and she did great. She didn't need him. Not now, not ever. If it wasn't for the accident he would never have met his daughter. Ever.  
"Did you need help?" Bianca asks entering the room.  
"Did she...?" Woody pointed at the room.  
"Huh?" Bianca inquires, "Oh yes! She did all of this herself. It's pretty isn't it?" Bianca smiles, "Jordan passed the last four months doing all this. Well she was on bed rest so she had to find something to occupy her time."  
_"Four months,"_ Woody thinks, _"And I wasn't there to help"_   
"Well Jordan wanted pretty stuff for her daughter," Bianca continued. "So she made it …see the crib?" she pointed "She made all the sheets and decorations. She was so proud of herself."  
"Sure she was." Woody said softy "_Jordan didn't need me if she could do all this by herself. I never thought the she can be like this…I'm so damn stupid. Great job Hoyt, you lack all this."_   
"Which one you prefer?" Bianca said interrupting his thought  
"About?" Woody said confusing  
"This. Purple or Blue?" she show him two pj's.  
"Purple?" Woody answered.  
"Okay, you want to change her Dad?" Bianca smile  
"Thanks."   
"For what?" Bianca asked, surprised.  
"Everything….I mean you were pretty angry at me." he said.  
"Oh that…well Jordan never give me details about you two…you know her," she said with a comic grin.  
"Yeah." Woody smiled…that sound like Jordan.  
"It just ….I'm sorry if this sound awful…but for a father the wasn't here and didn't care …you fly to fast to get your daughter…I just thought the you don't have good intentions with the little one."  
_"Ouch" _Wood thought "Well is not, I don't wanted to be here…is the I never knew about Cate."  
"You what?" Bianca yelled shocked.  
"Well ….Jordan ran."  
"Yeah she told me that part…but she never says ...I just assume…I'm sorry." Bianca said softly  
"I understand….bad guy…inglorious bastard….I get the point ...I deserve it." Woody smiled ironically.  
"No….I mean she never talk about you like that….maybe I think like that." she smiled ironic "but she don't, Jordan always talk about you with …care….even the her eyes speak for a huge sadness…"  
"I have the fault of that…I'm an inglorious bastard." Woody said   
Woody and Bianca were interrupting by Caterina cries.  
"What is little one?...you are not hungry…" Bianca says…."Oh ….Mommy's time."  
"What?" Woody said curious  
"Is 9 am…Jordan get up at this time, to dressed her and then play with her, after to leave for the job, for a little while" Bianca explain.  
"So what do we do?" Woody asks  
"Well ...actually what you do….because I have to be go to make the arrangements for the bloods test."  
"For how long?" Woody's voice sound concerned.  
"2 or 3 hours….you would be just fine"  
"Just plays with your girl Dad. I prepared the formula and all. Even I let the instructions in a paper. Arrivederci"

"So I just you and me, Cate….you know I hear a pretty nice song in a movie…We just would change the name of the girl." Woody smile winking an eye to Caterina _"Daddy's little girl paints the world with her magic wand. Daddy's little child breathes new life to the morning time for me. Though we're apart, her thoughts follow me. When I come home, "Cate" smiles with the dawn. "Cate" smiles, and she radiates the glow around her halo. When she plays, "Cate" smiles. On a summer day, "Cate" smiles. A new day, "Cate" smiles."_

Cate hear his father with attention, like she was trying to decide to believe him or not. Woody keeps singing for a while, watching to her daughter and at the same time making faces for her. The baby laugh and in some how Woody knew the he can still be there for his daughter, make some kind of arrange for all the mess he as done.  
He put his daughter in the bed, Jordan's bed and keeps playing, as he thought the Jordan would do it with her and it seems the his baby have a little routine, want the bunny first, then a little frog and the a teddy bear. That teddy bear was definitely the most using; it seems the she never let them down. One thing catch Woody's attention, the bear have a card in one ear. He wonder why Jordan would let the card there, knowing how dangerous could it be for Caterina. He reaches for the Bear, for taking a way the note, when he see it was writing. Curious for know who send it; Woody took the Bear passing the frog to Cate. He read: _"Just a little present for this piece of heaven. Make all the blessed were with her, now and forever. With love, Paul."_  
Paul. What to think right now of the man who told him how to find his little girl? On the other hand, Paul was also the man who kept his child from him. Woody shook that thought out of his head. There were only two things that mattered right now: he had his girl, he needed so badly to find Jordan. God, Jordan! She didn't need him, but Woody needed her so badly. More that he could ever articulate in words.   
Caterina got his attention by moving her little hands towards the picture frame on the nightstand.  
"Do you want the picture, sweetie?" Woody asked picking it up.  
It was Jordan and Cate at Fontana di Trevi. She looked beautiful with her sunglasses pulling her curls back and Caterina smiling in her arms. They looked so happy that warmed Woody's heart.  
"It's Mommy, Cate." Woody smiled at his baby sitting her on his lap. As he moved, he spotted another thing on the bedroom. A half-opened drawer with a picture album in it.  
"I know you wanted to play, but I'm hoping we can work out some sort of deal." Woody picked the album up "I think you can be still for a moment, right little one?" he put a kiss in her daughter kiss, making ticklish on purpose. Cate laugh "I get that as yes" he said winking an eye.  
He focus his attention in the album…some pictures just slipped, probably Jordan was filled the album the day after…he better don't think in that. He took the pictures and watched. They were recent…no more the 2 weeks ago. Jordan was holding Caterina in her arms; they were playing in the park. Caterina have a beautiful dress, pink and fluffy and Jordan was...using a dress…a Mommy's dress, with little red flowers, it was not totally fit to the body and show her shoulders. But the smile and glow in her eyes catch Woody's attention. When he saw that glow in Jordan eyes?...never, never before…she looks so happy with his little girl and it gave him some comfort even though he wasn't there to help her through pregnancy, he was now sure that Jordan had had the best part of him, their child. It made woody feel a little better that even when he was unbelievably stupid to push her away, he could still give her a reason to be happy, he stared down Caterina, he had never falled in love so hard in so little time. Truth is he had always loved her, even before she was conceived and when he got the -letter that Jordan left him saying she was pregnant; all he wanted was to be with the two people he loved the most and it was overwhelming to hold Caterina in his arms, look into her bright blue eyes and know that she was his now, that he loved her more than he believed it was possible to love someone.   
"Your Mommy is the most gorgeous woman the I ever know Cate" he whispered to his daughter, who was making little sobs "Let see what else is here" Woody start to pass page by page, watching Jordan tummy turns in a small belly to a ver expanded one. Every picture was writting with the date,month and little notes aside _"Today I feel the baby's kick for first time...it was I have no words for!"_. he smiled to this coment, feeling a little filp on his stomach for been missing all that."_My first visit it was overbold me!...see it the baby and hearing the heart beat!.."_ He pass over a few pages...to the 6 moths of pregnantcy _"OMG! Is a girl! I going to be a Mommy for a precious little girl!...crying"...I hope the she have his eyes..."_ Woody dropped his mouth at this last note, after all the mess, in some how she was still thinking on him...and where she was? If he could sale his soul for founded , he would do it, not questions asks...but...he can't ...and Jordan was still missing.

The phone started to ring...  
"Hello" Woody answers…  
"Ciao?" a voice asks  
"Damn…and Bianca is not here!" Woody yelled "What do I do"  
"I'm back!" Bianca salutes "How is …oh phone" she looks to Woody's confused face and took the phone from Woody's hand ""Ciao? Chi è questo?  
Woody was almost letting Bianca deal with the stuff, when she screamed loud and painful.  
"What happened?...It something wrong?" Woody asks worried.  
Bianca stays there, with her back at him. Woody watch like all her body start to shivered and how slowly the phone down from her hand. It panicked him. He takes two steps closer to her and puts his hands on her shoulders, turning her around to see her face, it was white and her eyes were full of tears, some already running down her cheeks. A huge fear rise in Woody's heart and it get locked there  
"Bianca What?" he yelled  
"Th-ee-y" Bianca stammered, shaking for all her body "Th-e-y" she looks with horror in Woody eyes before screaming desperate "They find Jordan's body!


	6. Una decisione, molte conseguenze

I'm sorry for be so slow this time...but really I have 0 time (last year at the University..lol)... I hope the you like the chap! --------------------------------------------

**Chapter 6: Una decisione, molte conseguenze** (One decision, many consequences)

He was there, standing, waiting. He knows these walls very well ...he knows these places too well. But he never thought that one day it would be like this. That he would be there waiting for someone to call him ...and that person, said three awful words "are you ready?"  
He wasn't. He would never be ready to see her cold lifeless body on a table with a tag on her toe. But he has to, and he was, aside from Bianca, the only he can do that. The facts were even worst, according to the information the few pieces he have, the last passengers, were found completely burnt…that make it feel sick to him…. He prays for a least, her body was complete…  
Suddenly the door opens, and a young man walks towards them.  
"Siete che i suoi stanno andando identificare Jordan Cavanaugh?. Woodrow Hoyt e Bianca Fucilla?" he asks  
"Sì, siamo" Bianca answers softly.  
"Allora, venga per favore con me" he said, opening the door for both  
"Bianca" Woody whispered to her "You don't have to do this…is not necessary" he was really worried about Bianca face and reaction to this.  
"No I have to" she said seriously "I'm a nurse…I'll see people die…. I need to know it, Woody." she begged with his eyes   
"Sure," he nodded and grabs Bianca cold hand. "Then…let's do this together" He said low, he knows what support means in that situations. Woody and Bianca walked into that room. He was a Homicide Detective, but he had never felt so uncomfortable on a morgue before. Not even on his first day at the job.  
Bianca was in the same state of shock. She was a nurse. She takes care of people until they die…hold their hands…. watch their last movements and moment before they left this world forever. But this was different. She couldn't stand it. …but yet…she has. They have too, even if that means a slow and painful agony.  
"Pronto?" the Doctor asks to both, standing at the table, where the Jordan's body lays.   
"Are you ready?" Bianca whispered to Woody  
"No," he said softly, but sincerely, he took a deep breath. "Okay ...now"   
Bianca looks to the doctor and nods. The doctor took the sheet out of her face.  
It was so pale, covered with bruises. The brown curls the beauty mark... Woody took her left hand as tears ran down his face. God! It was so cold. He would never be able to feel the warmness of her body again, never kiss those soft lips the he adore…. never hear her laugh and her brilliant eyes with her warm glow in them. All the guilt comes to him again. Regretting every word the he say it to her and hurt, every awful action ….the make to see a sadness look in her eyes…eyes the he would never see again, because they were close eternally.  
"There's no scar." He noticed.  
"What?" Bianca asked.  
"A guy broke into her apartment once. He cut her left hand. I'm pretty sure there should be a thin scar here." Woody pointed out. "And callouses. Jor plays the guitar, there should be callouses." Woody took the sheet of her hips to see the last piece of evidence he needed "This is not Jordan." he stated.  
"Are you sure?" Bianca asked cautious. After all, the detective could be in denial.  
"I'm positive!" Woody nodded "Jordan has a birth mark that kinda looks like a bird on her hip."   
Woody was just so grateful that the woman lying on that table wasn't his Jordan.  
"Oh," Bianca sighed relieved at the same time the she feel her knees fallen for his weight.  
Woody reach for her "Bianca…looks to me…Jordan is alive…. focus" He starts to say  
"I know …it just Caterina ...she …Oh God" her breathing became more quickly "I feel dizzy…I need air…"   
"Let's go out of here." Woody took Bianca firmly and both walking away for the place that had almost meant their doom.

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_His head was fuzzy. And for some reason, couldn't remember a damn thing. Only was a complete and totally dark. A very strong one, who keeps his eyes, shot. Try to opened, it was a losing battle. It was a wise idea, stops right now, and not fights against to what is inevitable…But the nightmares hunting his unconscious state…not let them hope, just a terrible fear to lose, falling close for the lost even the that something don't wasn't even clear in his confusing mind, but with not a doubt that lost it was forever._

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"Hello?" Lily said by the phone "Woody? Oh My God?…Tell me she is not dead!" Lily start to yelling by the phone  
"Lily calms down, breath" Bug said take it the phone form her hands and passing the call to Nigel "Now …focus, breathe"  
"But why if she is…." Lily panic face rises to meet Bug face.  
"She is not!" Nigel screams "Thanks God for that Woodrow."  
"Oh...Thanks…." Lily sighs relief, then standing up, she grab the phone from Nigel hand and put it in conference mode " Why you scare me like that!" she yelled   
"Lily...you don't even let me answer!" Woody screaming back   
"You can't say it straight!" Lily said  
"You start to yelled before I even said Hello!"  
"Okay stop Lily!" Garret said entering "What is this scandal? Are you fighting with the air?"  
"Jordan is not dead Doctor M." Nigel replies   
"Well that is great news…did Woody find her?"  
"No yet, Doctor Macy." Woody's voice answer by the speaker.  
"Woody? Now I get why Lily was screaming…. what else happens?" Garret said sitting in the chair  
"The woman they found …it wasn't Jordan…. they mess around the ID and all…but it wasn't her…. the last prove was the blood type ….we took a sample from Caterina blood…no match"  
"I'll see…. what about the little one?" Garret asks  
"Right now, I'm just finish with the papers…. since we took Caterina blood sample for the ID of the body…they see the match of me as a father…so now probably I would finish with all the papers next week, then I would be able to go to the States. I have a few businesses to carry on there…and you would meet Caterina as well"  
"You are going to bring Caterina to here?" Lily asks  
"Yeah, why?" Woody replies surprised  
"Well….you are going to put her in danger ...I mean Lu…." Lily said  
"Oh well she have to handle it …I am coming back with my daughter, she has to understand that, if she likes the idea or not" Woody said strong  
"Are you going to make the Lu adopted the girl…" Lily paused long "as her daughter as well?" she finish the sentence in a scare tone.  
"No." Woody said quickly  
"No?" the four peoples by the phone asks surprised  
"No." Woody took a deep breathe "Caterina is Jordan's daughter…not Lu's"   
"What that means?" Lily asks  
"Caterina has a mother already." Woody replies "And is the only one the she ever is going to meet"  
"Son….you are going to get married" Garret warning  
"We certainly are going to watch you!...or then you are going to be the next body in our tables!" Nigel scream half joking- half serious  
"Yeah probably….that's why I'll come back to the States….I'll be there the few the I can….I need to back here, to keep finding Jor" he took deep breathe "Lily I need a favor"  
"Sure what ever you want"  
"Can you buy some stuff for my little girl? …I have nothing in my apartment for a baby, I need her to be comfortable in my place." Woody said.   
"Leave that in my hands, I will buy all what Caterina needs…but Woody I don't have a key of your place and …" Lily answer   
"There is one copy in my desk in the precinct, you go and take it. Seely knows exactly were it is and Lu has no idea about it, I'm so sorry for all this mess…I" his voice broke  
"Woody you have nothing to apology, you are doing the right thing there, looking for your daughter future, is what any loving parent would do. If some jealous woman can't understand that…" Lily said.  
"Thanks Lily. I'll have to go now, Bianca is here, we will see you soon!" Woody clicks the phone off.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You are okay?" Woody asks worried, watching Bianca pale face  
"Yes, just…. What a day!" Bianca screams in release  
"Tell me about it." Woody said playing with Caterina´s little hands; the baby was full sleep in her bassinet…. "One of my worst nightmares almost became true. Can I die now?" He asks comic   
"Don't be silly!" Bianca laugh..."So what are you going to do next?"  
"I have to back to the States. I have to finish something very important there"  
"Lu?" Bianca covered her mouth in horror "I'm sorry I didn't mean to say ..."  
"Is fine, Bianca…What other stuff Jordan tells you?" Woody pause "Wait, what she don't told you?...It would make the things more easiest…" he smile  
"Oh she…..she said the you change it, for this Detective who doesn't even know you…the was a lousy shrink and even a worst cop." Bianca said with a grin  
"Oh." Woody could stop a comic face; he can picture Jordan saying those things. "Well I guess the she isn't the great cop ever and definitely not Jordan's detective style"  
"She also said the she is a blonde….like that was a crime." Bianca smile mischievous   
Woody laugh again "Well I kinda think the Jordan doesn't likes blondes…..she always have bad experience with them."   
"Devan?…Oh damn!" Bianca said fisting her finger.  
"You know too much, you know?" Woody smile joking  
"I wouldn't say anything against you. Because, even the Jordan said some awful things about you …..I can always feel, the deep down, she always cares about you, more the she even know…she …really loves you."   
"She said that?" Woody asks softly  
"Well…only once….and it supposes I shouldn't been hearing." Bianca winks an eye to Woody "But any way, I hear….she was talking to Caterina, how his Dad was…and showing to her some pictures of you…and well she said it."  
"What she said?" Woody asks anxious "and I don't see any picture of me in Jordan's place." he pointed confused.  
"Well she keep it in her desk, with key…I shouldn't be tell you all this things." Bianca laugh "But I guess the it wouldn't hurt now…Well that day she said to Caterina _"Your Dad is a great guy, sweetie, but some times he don't see the stuffs…..I don't know why he acts like that…but I guess that is my fault as well….so you can beat me when you grow up, for be such a coward….for not telling to you Dad my true feelings for him. Because… you know Cate? I do love your Dad, I will always love Woody."_ That was what she said…but I guess the she told you that in the letter or not?" Bianca asks to Woody.  
"Yeah she did, but that was before Caterina born, I thought the she erase me from her heart" Woody said  
"Did you erase her from your heart?" Bianca cut him  
"Never."  
"So why are you going to married to another woman then…a woman who is not Caterina's mother?" Bianca start to arguing  
"I'm not going to marry another woman…" Woody said strongly.  
"Excuse me?" Bianca could believe what she was hearing  
"There is not wedding, because the groom has his heart locked in the heart of another bride."  
"Are you going back…to tell Lu." Bianca paused with a panic expression "…YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MARRY HER!" She screamed.  
"Indeed." Woody said complete serious and secure  
"Oh, you certainly are dead man." Bianca said with a compassion grin in her face

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**((2 Weeks Later))**

_"Your attention please, American Airline announced her fly, from Rome destiny to Boston, arrival."_

"That is" Garret said   
"Oh I can't wait to see Caterina!" Lily smiled happily   
"Yeah but I guess….the this is going to be ugly…" Nigel said  
"Why?" Bug asks strange it  
"There" he pointed to behind them. In a corner with a face the only reflects angry and jealous, was Lu.  
"What she is doing here? How she knows?" Lily asks  
"I told her." Garret said  
"W-h-a-t?" Lily screams "Why?"  
"Yeah Doctor M, it wasn't necessary" Nigel said obfuscated a little  
"Let me remain you the she is STILL Woody's fiancée."  
"I would bet for how long…" Lily said, pissed off.  
"That is Woody's problem, he have to tell her, not us…right now….she must be here and…"  
"Here are they!" Bug finish the arguing, when he scream, pointed to the door  
"Woody!" Lily screams, to get his attention.  
Woody turns and watch the entire group, all with present and Nigel even have a funny t-shirt it say **"Welcome little one".** Woody wish the Jordan could see how much his friend love they daughter.   
"Oh my God…..she is so beautiful!" Lily said, looking to the gracious 5 months baby, the Woody hold in his arms "Hey Cattie…I'm your aunt Lily…welcome little one…" Caterina snuggle a little in Woody's arms to turn her little face, for see who was talking.  
"Oh Woody, she has your eyes!" Bug said. "There identical!"  
"Hey little princess, I'm your uncle Nigel" he took Caterina´s tiny hand.  
"Can I hold her?" Lily asks anxious  
"Yes, please." Woody pass the baby to Lily "I have to find ours bags"  
"We would help you, Bug stay with Lily and the baby." Garret said. The three men walking to the baggage claim area.  
"If my eyes are wrong …or I see Lu in the background" Woody asks worried  
"Doctor Macy has the bright idea to tell her"  
"Nigel…" Garret warned  
"Is fine ….I get the point….sooner or later I have to confront her" Woody said taking the bags.  
"Confront her?...you mean about the baby right?" Nigel asks not secure about what Woody means.   
"About everything"  
"Everything?...you don't mean …?" Nigel said really worried this time  
"That is exactly why I mean." Woody picks his bags  
"Your are going to be the next body in my table then!" Nigel scream and letting the bag down from his hand to the floor.  
"Thanks Nige…that really helps." Woody replies sarcastic  
"Even I don't like to be agreeing with Nigel….he is right Woody…." Garret pointed out.  
"I know…but there is no way I'm going to take off my decision…is determinate….I won't marry her," Woody said strong and firmly. Garret and Nigel look to each other in worried….the Detective face doesn't even show a trace of doubt. They both know this decision was taken a lot time ago, probably in his unconscious, when he saw Cate for first time.

"Hey my little princess, I'll see you are getting fun" Woody said smiling and stroking Cate head, which was firmly in Lily's arms. The baby was laughing to Bug's faces  
"She is adorable, Woody" Lily said "The most precious little thing" she said touching noose to noose with Caterina. The baby laughs more.  
"What is next?" Bug said  
"Give me ten minutes" Woody said. He puts a kiss on Caterina's cheek and walk to Lu's corner.  
"Oh dear" Nigel said "You know baby…your father is really brave." He pointed to the baby who was making little sobs with her mouth totally unaware from the situation.

"Hey." Woody said  
"Hello." Was the cold answer the he get  
_"Ok, that wasn't the best start."_ Woody thought.  
"I glad that you are here."  
"Uh really?" Lu said sarcastic "Then WHY you don't call me?"   
_"Shit."_ Woody thought "I think you maybe don't want to be here…and I see I wasn't wrong."  
"Fine! I will let you be with your lovely friends and YOUR daughter" Lu said angry. She turns to leave it the place  
"Ok wait…." Woody grabs her arm "Can we talk about this. I'm sorry I lied to you….I know I was wrong. But her." Woody pointed to Cate "Don't have any fault about my mistakes, how you can expect I would leave her alone in other country!  
"I know." Lu said low. She meditated for a while and then smile to Woody "All right; we talk about "all this" later." she took Woody's hand in hers "Now…Let me see your daughter." she said smiling  
Woody was shocked with Lu´s reaction "Oh, sure."

Nigel, Bug, Garret and Lily were watching the scene with a suspicion expression   
"I don't know why…but I don't like her smile." Bug said   
"Because is just fake." Lily pointed seriously "She isn't happy the Cate is here, she is totally furious for that …she is just pretending in front of Woody."  
"Well …then she really loves him ...right?" Bug asks  
"No…It just reclaims the territory" Lily replies  
"Lily ...that sound too tough." Nigel said " I think the she loves him…more then what Woody does."  
"Yeah probably but ….she is a blind person if she can't see that." Lily said  
"Lily…don't be angry like that, it don't fix with you….and beside, if she loves him…this is going to be really nasty." Garret pointed  
"Oh, here they come." Nigel advice "Hey Detective Simmons."  
"Hey," Lu said smiling…a force smile "So this is the little one ...hey Caterina." Lu smile to Cate as well. Cate look to Lu, just for a few seconds and then start to cry, loudly  
"Shhh…hey princess what is? Lily asks to Caterina try calm her "Don't be sad". Caterina cries even more.  
"I think you have her in the wrong position." Lu said  
"What?" Lily scream angry  
"Let me" Lu took Caterina in her arms, the baby's cries stop. "See?" she smile to Lily victorious. Caterina turn her face to look Lu, she smiled in response only to get a storm of screams and cries in her face "Oh what is wrong?" Lu said desperate  
"Maybe she doesn't like you…" Lily said low…Nigel chuckle low at the comment  
"Shhh" Bug said punched Nigel with his arm  
"Okay, let me," Woody said taking Cate out off Lu arms" Every thing is fine, sweetie." Caterina was still sobbing, but the screams stop "There is, that's Daddy little girl" Woody smile to his daughter. Caterina smile as well, his lovely and mystery smile. That smile always makes Woody think her daughter have a secret. It was smile the star from the ribs of her mouth until the spread for the entire face, slowly "That's a good girl, time to go home it seems." Caterina snuggle a little before to take the best position to sleep, in Woody's arms.  
"I will go with you." Lu said grabbing some bags "I brought my car and I can take you home…and beside we have a lot of stuff to talk about it. I have the entire agenda prepared for us, we have to go to see the flowers, your tux and of course my dress." Lu said counting the stuff with her fingers and smiling triumphal "Come on …hurry we have a lot to do and your baby need to rest well, but the way, do you have anything in your home to make the she would be comfortable?"  
"Oh yes." Woody said a shocked by Lu reaction "I took are about that before"   
"Perfect then." Lu said smiling again  
Woody turn to them four shocked people they were right behind him "Hey you guys…thanks for all your help."  
"Woody you can count with us for everything…even if we have to bury your own body" Nigel said   
"Well maybe soon you have to do that" Woody smiled sadly "Lily thanks for all"  
"No…I would do it for this princess anytime…..bring her to the Morgue or my home, when you needed." Lily answer  
"I will" Woody said  
"Wooody…" Lu voice sound  
"Coming!" Woody said rolling his eyes and walking to the exist doors.

"Ok…I say, we go to some nice quiet place and we eat some thing full of sugar and a nice cup of tea…" Nigel start  
"For let this nightmare behind." Lily complete   
"And Doctor Macy should pay." Bug pointed  
"What?"   
"Well Doctor M, this nightmare was for you fault because…" Nigel start  
"You call Lu and…" Lily continues  
"That gives to us a huge pain head!" Bug finished  
"Fine! But it would be the last and first time." Doctor Macy said pissed

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Woody have his own nightmare as well…after 3 hours of hearing Lu talking about the wedding details, he was sick…..sick of Lu voice, sick of Lu's smiles….sick of Lu. The only thing the he got clear was: he must be at 7:30 pm in the dress store, the next day. When she finally she decided to leave and Woody was almost open the door for her, she propose stay, the he may need help with the baby and always a woman is better for that a guy. After another hour to convince Lu the he was fine and didn't need help and the she must work tomorrow and he not, she left. Woody closed the door with a huge relief sigh.  
He walk to his room, the now have a precious and small bassinet in which one Caterina was deep sleepy. He strokes the little head with his hand and put a kiss in Caterina's cheek.   
"I love you" Woody whispering softly. "and your Mommy love you as well…I'll promises to end this, tomorrow. Would you ever forgive me?" For any answer Caterina stroke her father's finger strongly in her hand, not letting him go…Woody stay there, watching the small figure, who wants her father right there with him, Woody smile "I'll take that as a yes…"

----------------------------------

7:30 pm…

Woody took a deep breathe before to enter in the store. The Wedding dresses store. He asks for Lu and the woman pointed to the right. He walks to there and open the door…  
"Get out!" Lu smiling waving hand for him to leave "Its bad luck to see the bride dressed up before the big day!"  
"Sure...as long there is a wedding" Woody said softly but secure  
"I'm sorry, What!" Lu shook her head quickly.  
"I can't marry you." Woody swallowed hard.  
"Woods, this is crazy! You can't call it off a week from the wedding day." Lu tried to convince him "Hun, we've been arguing every now and again, but I'm sure we can make this work."  
"Don't lie to yourself, Lu. We both know it's not gonna happen." Woody stared the floor for a second and lifted his blue eyes up to meet hers.  
It was now Lu who couldn't hold the gaze. She looked away. "Because you love her." she sighed sadly. "She's the mother of your child; you have to find her..." Lu repeated the sentences she had heard most frequently ever since he came back from Italy. "Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe Jordan doesn't want to be found? That you might be wasting your life going after something you'll never get?"  
"If I give up, I'll never know." Woody said.

Lu agreed quietly. She couldn't define how she felt. She was angry at Woody for being in love with someone else, she hated Jordan because, dead or alive, her ghost had haunted and doomed her relationship from the very first day. Like it or not, she couldn't stand Caterina because she represented all the love Woody had for Jordan and not for her. Because Caterina was the living proof it would never work out between the two detectives.

"I..." Woody started.  
"Don't." she stared him coolly. "Just go."  
"Lu," he tried again.  
"I don't care, Woody." she stated holding all the emotions back "I don't give a damn about what you have to say. I don't give a damn about how you feel." anger was starting to rise in her voice "Just go, ok?" she took the wedding ring off "You're free to go." Lu threw it at him "Find your charming princess and live your stupid fairy tale happily ever after."  
"Life is not a fairy tale, you should know that," Woody replies angry "Only exist the feeling to meet someone the is the right for you and try harder to make the things work for the both" He took the ring from the floor "That obviously don't fix with you" he said and walk away.  
Lu slammed the door right after he left, she load down and saw the white dress. "Damn you, Jordan!" she said "I have no idea if you're dead or alive, but you still here to ruin it all! First you don't want him and when you can't have him, you simply decide no one else can!"

-----------------------------------------------

"How is the patient?"  
"Still nothing Doctor I'm sorry" the nurse answer  
"I don't like this …should be awake by now." the Doctor replies  
"She should be awake since a month." the nurse pointed sarcastically  
"We still don't know who she is?" the Doctor said trying to change the conversation.  
"Well is very difficult since she isn't Italian." the nurse said still annoyed  
"Maybe we should send a picture to the different embassies." The Doctor suggest  
"Oh and would take to us forever….." the nurse said angry "I'm sorry Doctor but I'm really busy right now…and if you are so interesting in her, why you just don't do it." and with that she left the room  
"And they said the Italians are very gentles" he smile with a sarcastic grin to his self. He approximated to the bed. "Don't you have anyone to make you back?" he stroke the long chestnuts curls "Someone there, out side must be really worried about you, probably leaving the nightmare to think you may be dead". No answer. "Come on miss…give us a sing you are still there" the Doctor said. Nothing. he sighs in deception "I think that is for us today, I have to finish my round. Margarita"  
"Si?" a young nurse answer  
"Se qualche cosa cambiamento, può voi lo denominano?" He asks to her  
"Non preoccupar, io lo farà" Margarita smile

The Doctor stands up and walks to the door, once again disappointing for the no-reaction from the patience. He was completely sure this woman must be really loved in some place, who wouldn't? She was so beautiful; she must have people whose care about her. He cross the door at the same time the Margarita walks to the bed.

"You should try to open your eyes…is too weak for you not to do it and coward as well" Margarita said smiling. Then she shocked. She said as a joke, but the woman in the bed was trying to open her eyes.  
"Miss? Hello…." Margarita try to encourage her…the woman in the bed open her eyes "There you are, you have it us so worried all this time. I'm Margarita; do you like I call the Doctor?"  
"Doctor? Why…"….Jordan looks around in a complete panic "Where, I'm!" she scream  
"Miss calms down, you be unconscious for a little while" Margarita lied "You are in a Hospital…"  
"I was in an accident?" Jordan asks, like she doesn't know anything about it.  
"Well yes" Margarita said surprise…and worried "Miss, what is your name?"   
"My name…." Jordan said confused…"My name…" she repeated  
"Miss…"  
"What?...I don't know my name, Who am I!" Jordan screams in panic, eyes flying from the nurse to her hospital bedroom. "Who am I!"


	7. Disegno dello spazio in bianco

Thanks Katie Pooh!..lmao...for correct my chap

Ok girl's new chap! This one is a co-writting one My good friend anacharlie help a lot ...thanks girl!

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Chapter 7: Disegno dello spazio in bianco (Drawing a Blank) **

"Favorite Color?"  
"No…"  
"Favorite Song?"  
"No…"   
"Favorite Name?"  
"No…"  
"Place of Birth?"   
"No…."  
"Father's Name?"  
"No…."  
"Phone number?"  
"No….no, no, NO!" Jordan screamed, covering her face with her hands in desperation. "I can't remember a damn thing …I already told you!"  
"You are not making any effort for remember!" the psychiatrist retorted sharply.

After 3 hours of talking with Jordan, the psychiatrist was getting frustrated; she was not getting any result from her patient. Even the she knew the idiom was a great barrier between them both, she was very secure to get something …and the only thing the she got was a huge headache.  
"I think you should stop to forcing the patient," The Doctor said. He was there for the entire interview watching from the door and he sees no change from the patience. "Maybe it better for you both to continue tomorrow."  
"I think you are right….Ok Miss…we'll see you tomorrow…and please try to remember something ...anything…." After that she passed over the door  
Paolo looked with compassion to Jordan. She looked so defeated and completely helpless. He stood close too Jordan's bed and put his hand over Jordan's head, stroking softly.  
"Don't listen her, you did it great," he whispered softly  
"How? I didn't remember a damn thing!" Jordan up his head with tears covering her cheeks.  
"But you tried." He winked at her. "That's good enough." He smiled, trying to comfort her.  
Jordan feels deeply grateful for that and some part happy the someone really care about her….like…"Ouch." Jordan said touching her head  
"Something wrong? Maybe your hurts are irritated it you, let me check" He start to touch Jordan's head.   
"No…is not that …it happened to me a lot when the Psychiatric make me the questions…every time the I think the I remember something….my head hurt…it was like my mind wanted to be in a blank" Jordan said in frustration  
"Mmm…" The doctor look worried "We are going to do a MRI tomorrow." He took Jordan patient register and point the MRI . "I 'm sorry but is not going to be a pleasant experience." He smile with a comic grin.  
"How so?" Jordan asked, intrigued.  
"Well the sounds from the machine…honestly ...they are nasty!"  
"Oh…" Jordan feels some panic "Would you be there?" She feel a hot in her cheeks  
"I have a round but…." He smile again "I can make an arrange"   
"Thanks."  
"It seems my patients …really need to be spoiled." He screams comically  
"Come again?" Jordan said a little annoyed  
"Nothing…." He said trying to erase the uncomfortable moment "we would take care about you…until you remember or someone comes for you."  
"If anyone?" Jordan voice tremble….that questions was locked in her mind…but she was too afraid of…  
The Doctor look to her smiling sadly "Listen I don't think there is no one off there looking for you….but since the your papers disappears in the accident and you are not from Italy….and you…well…"  
"Sleep for a month and then now I don't remember anything…" Jordan voice was full of sarcasm. "I can't be helped and for that no one as come…" her eyes were filled with tears now.  
"Hey….do not cry…I'm very sure the people about there are going crazy looking for you….they must be very worried and..."  
"How do you know it? What about if no one cares about me?"  
"Never" He said strong and secure "A woman like you ...must to be loved and care for all what they know her."  
Jordan look deeply in the dark brow eyes the were standing right there, with her…and those eyes were so lovely and show so much care for her….the she believe it…..he must to be right… "Ok…..I believe you." She smile, the first truly smile since she wake up  
"That much betters…a really good girl." He smiles "So I must go…." He stood up from Jordan's bed and walked to the door  
"Wait…. You never introduce your self to me." Jordan said softly  
"Uh?" The Doctor murmured, "Yes! You are right…. Il mio nome è Paolo, Il vostro medico"   
"What?" Jordan was extremely confused  
"Well I think the maybe that would help you to remember, I mean talk in Italian…but no, ...so I would just added I'm very honored to meet and you may call me Paolo." he make a funny reverence trying to make it laugh Jordan and he was successful.  
"Ok….Italian boy….I'm very sorry the I couldn't tell you my name ...but I'm very honored to meet you too." she smile again  
"So we are friends now…" He smile and was almost passing the door, when she turn and added "and you have the most charming smile the I ever see….is like…Entice." and he cross the door  
Jordan feels a hot in her cheeks at the doctor words, but aside being ashamed for that, she liked him, because he care about her…and that made it all feel less lonely….She lay in her bed for long …crying with silence tears, the she really know why they come. She watch the stars change of position in the sky, looking from the window in her room and all the time wondering why she have the sensation for some reason, the eyes of the Doctor must be of another color.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Woody….." Lily called out  
"I know" he interrupted.  
"You're been saying that for the last 4 hours!" she pointed out.  
"But…"   
"No buts! Go to bed!" Lily told him firmly  
"But…"   
"NOW!"  
"Geez!" Woody stood up from the table. For the last 4 hours he has been calling to Italy, talking there and here, trying to push for some kind of information. And there was still no information. That was so very much frustrating! Woody sighed heavily running his hand through his hair.  
"You really need to get some rest." Lily said softly.  
"I have to find Jordan." Woody disagreed.  
"Shouldn't Caterina have a decently rested father?" Lily raised an eyebrow at him.  
"That sounds almost like blackmail." Woody pointed out with a smirk.  
"Anything to get you in bed." Lily raised her hands as in defeat.  
Woody raised an eyebrow.   
"Ok, that came out wrong." Lily tried to explain herself.  
"If I do remember correctly, when we first met you asked me if I'd sleep with you." Woody reminded her with a comic grin.  
Lily felt her cheeks going from pink-ish to burning red.   
"You…" she pointed at him trying to form a sentence. She didn't accomplish so.  
Woody's grin was bigger. Having people blushing can be so much fun.  
"Go to bed!" Lily ordered pointing his bedroom.  
Woody did as she said and headed to his room laughing.  
He closed the door behind him with a softly click and changed into his pajamas pants and an old T-shirt. Woody lied down hoping he'd close his eyes and sleep.  
Well, no such luck. Woody couldn't sleep because he couldn't get his mind of how frustrating this phone-search was. He had absolutely nothing on Jordan. It was as if she had vanished into thin air. Woody turned to his side hoping he'd leave those thoughts behind.

"This is pointless!" his mind told him "While I'm here trying to handle all at the same time – and obviously failing or I wouldn't have Lily over this late – " his minded pointed out "Jordan is somewhere lost. I can't even assure myself she's fine. These phone calls are taking me absolutely nowhere. So instead of sit and wait for her to magically show up, I should go after her. Literally"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi." Paolo smiled gently as he walked into his new favorite patient's room.  
"Hi." She smiled back. "Time for the MRI, right?"  
Paolo nodded as he sat by the chair near her bed. "I've been thinking…" he started.   
"Should I be worried?" Jordan asked sarcastically, but with an honest smile.  
Paolo smiled back and continued "Since you can't remember your name, you should have a temporary one."   
"A temporary name?" now that was a bit of a weird idea, she thought.  
"Just until we find out your name." Paolo shrugged.  
Jordan thought for a second. It didn't seem like she would remember anytime soon, so it wouldn't hurt to actually be called something aside 'the patient', 'the brunette', 'the girl from the accident', 'the amnesia girl' and even in a twisted way, some nurses call her "Lucy", from a movie which the girl lost her memory every day. People didn't call her that directly, but she'd overheard nurses and doctors on the hallway.  
"Any suggestions?"  
"How about Isabella?" He said smiling  
"Who was Isabella?" she raised a suspicious eyebrow.  
"I don't know any Isabella. It's just my favorite name." Paolo said.  
"It's pretty." She smiled nodding slowly.  
"So?"  
"I'm Isabella." She smiled and held her hand out.  
"Paolo." He smiled taking her hand. "We should go."  
"Ok."  
Isabella's answer was followed by a comfortable silence.  
"What are you thinking of?" Paolo asked as he noticed the thoughtful expression on her face.  
"I'm trying to decide if I like this MRI idea or not." Isabella answered, "Big machines, finding out stuff, trying to figure it all out… It's cool. But being the subject of the figuring out is not that cool."

**((Hours later)) **

"What are you still doing here? I thought your shift was over hours ago." Isabella said as she saw Paolo entering the room with a box under his arm.  
"Since you've said figuring stuff out is cool." he pulled a chair to sit next to her bed "I thought this might be fun." Paolo showed her the box.  
"Clue?" Isabella smiled with an arched eyebrow. "Why are you doing this?"  
"There's nothing wrong with you, but whenever you're forced to do something, you seem to run."  
"Are you saying I don't want to remember?" Isabella asked quizzically. How could she not want so? Looking at her self on the mirror and having no idea if she looks like her mom or her dad. Worse! Not even knowing if she has parents. Or her name, her last name. Her own body was the worst of puzzles to her. She could see scars and marks and Isabella had absolutely no idea how she got those on the first place. Isabella had starting assuming a lot of things. She assumed the scar on her left hand was due to an unfortunate encounter with a sharp knife, that the calluses on her fingertips where from playing some string musical instrument and that she was kind of girly for going 'aww' whenever she saw a baby.  
"No, I'm saying pushing you is not the best approach." Paolo explained himself "It gives you a headache, you end up frustrated and with an angry therapist. I think you should just relax."  
"Are you here as Dr. Segreti or Paolo?"   
"I was sitting home and there was nothing to do…" He said ashamed  
"No one fun to talk to?" Isabella asked ironically.  
"Yeah. Then I remembered you like to figure stuff out." He pointed the game with his eyes. "You remember it too. You told me today when you were deciding if you liked the MRI or not."  
She blinked surprised "It is true. I did remember."  
"Without pushing and without headaches…" Paolo smiled.  
"Alright!" Jordan lay in the bed, like a little child, rolled over her tummy and looking expectative "From we start?"  
"Choose" He said laughing at Jordan's attitude

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be a single Dad, was harder what Woody always thought. Running all the time for doing all what the baby need, was hard…and the nights with out sleeping...that was killing him. Not the he really sleep anyway…because when he sleep, his dreams haunting him with nightmares about Jordan fate. But Lily finally found a solution for that problem...a book…that helps parents to learn teaching their child to sleep well at night. After three weeks to do it…Caterina didn't wake up more at night. He thought that would be a relief but…now it was him who wakes up every time…A month, an entire month since he left Italy with Caterina and he still don't know anything about Jordan. Laying in the Bed, he stand up and walk to the kitchen and start to see once again all the things about the accident and the possible hospital's when Jordan may be…Rome is a huge city…when thousand of Hospital's and the worst part was the he knows the some victims of the accidents, where delivered to others places, not in Rome specifically.

Thousand of theories where in Woody's mind, because he couldn't find a reasonable answer to why Jordan was still missing. Something must be wrong with her, because we would never believe Jordan had abandoned her child. He never thought in that before, until the he hear some rumors in the precinct, that Jordan did all that to punished Woody, the maybe the baby wasn't even of him. He confront to everyone who said Caterina wasn't his daughter and with the person who star all the rumors, and that was his last fight with Lu. That was a nightmare, in all the sense of the word. All the respect the he still have over Lu and the fact the he hurt her, disappear completely. After that, Lu asks for a promotion in another city. And that was it, and deeply in his heart, he was truly relief for not seeing her again. He regrets once again for asking to Lu marry him, if he would never do that, Jordan would be here in Boston, with him and Caterina, not lost and alone.  
"Where are you Jordan?" He asks looking for the window "Caterina misses you, everyone at the morgue too… I miss you; and need you here with me…forever"

-------------------------------------------------------------

Jordan woke up with the sound of the city. She felt better, maybe she still doesn't remember too much or something useful, but she could remember something: her favorite color was purple. And she was happy for that the she was making some progress. Now, talking about things the really helps, it seems her brain wasn't cooperated too much, he was to keep blank and that really piss off Jordan.  
Because be wondering all the time, who I am, is not the greatest experience, since the most of the time Jordan was wondering if the people in her past loves her enough and if they are looking for her. Wondering if they are worried, if they care...and why if they didn't care? That was a huge panic in Jordan's soul. What if she wasn't important enough for someone to remember her and wanted to search for her?  
"What if I'm not important for anybody?" She said aloud  
"How many times I have to say you… you MUST keep those thoughts out of your mind!" Paolo said  
"But… Paolo, let's face it, I've been here for over a month and NO ONE has…"  
"You don't know." He interrupted "You were found away from the original scene without any documents, you weren't awake for a month, you don't remember much. Rome is a huge city. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. I'm positive someone is looking for you."  
"How can you be so sure?" Jordan asked desperately.  
"You are caring, intelligent, funny… You're the kind of person people love to have around. You're the kind of girl a guy would be extremely grateful to have by his side. How could someone not look for you?"  
Jordan felt her cheeks flushing a little.  
"Come on, you have an appointment with your therapist." Paolo changed the subject.  
"I hate her."  
"Well, she's not crazy about you either." Paolo shrugged comically.

Dr. Veronesi sat there, with her glass of water in her left hand. "Dr. Segreti told me about temporary name."  
"I guess it makes it a little less awkward." Jordan sighed watching the blond woman make small circles with the glass and the ice moving inside the water.  
"Do you want to talk about the dreams you've been having, Isabella?" she asked and Jordan immediately lifted her honey eyes up to meet the doctor's one.  
"I guess it's from the accident." Jordan shrugged "Screams, fire."  
"That's all?"   
"Pretty much." Jordan nodded slowly "There are people screaming scared, baby crying and fire."  
"Baby crying?" the doctor lifted an eyebrow.  
"Yeah. There's this one baby crying, but I can't see it. All I can see is the fire."   
Both women sighed.  
"Look, let's be practical." Jordan said "This isn't going anywhere. What if we tried to analyze it as if I wasn't the patient in question?"  
Dr. Veronesi thought for a minute while making small circles with the glass.  
Jordan could hear the ice floating and bumping on the other ice cubes on the golden-brown liquid. The lamp hanging over the table and the man sat at it, with her back to her.  
"Isabella?"   
Jordan lifted her eyes up.  
"Did you remember anything?"   
"Whiskey. He drinks whiskey. Alone."  
"Who drinks whiskey alone?"  
"I don't know." Jordan shrugged.  
Dr. Veronesi sighed. In fact, that's what they used to do a lot: sigh and shrug in frustration at the very, very small progress.  
"Maybe you're idea isn't so bad." The blonde took a sip of her water.  
"Ok. So, you have an unconscious girl, bus accident…"  
"Without any sort of identification documents. We assumed she lost them somewhere along the accident."  
"Where there eye witnesses?"  
"For the original scene. They saw a woman, in her thirties, helping people out of the bus. The bus fell and she was in it. They assumed she didn't survive at first."  
"Medical history?"   
"None, she's a… what do you call?"  
"Jane Doe."  
"Yes." Dr. Veronesi was surprised Isabella could think so clearly when she wasn't put on the spotlight.  
"So?" the brunette raised an eyebrow waiting for more information.  
"Hum…" Veranesi picked her file up and read it "Nervature rotte, cavigliata torta, trauma capo, tagli, bruciatos…"  
"Posso verdere il rapporto?" she asked instinctively.  
"Parlate italiano?" Veranesi asked surprised. And she had been working on her English all that time.  
"Well, I am in Italy, so…but until now is the first time the I can talk in Italiano, I guess the my mind remember that" Jordan shrugged "Anyway, broken ribs, twisted ankle, head trauma, cuts and burnings are consistent with the accident. Anything else?"  
Veronesi read the file quickly and shook her head. The girl had enough trouble not knowing who she was. She didn't see a point on telling her the medical report stated she seemed to be breastfeeding. In one month, she was no longer producing any milk, so the blonde doctor assumed once Isabella's memory was back, she would remember about her child.  
"I guess we did some good progress today." She lifted her green eyes up.  
"We did?" Jordan didn't see any, but if Veronesi was saying…  
"Yes." She nodded "We're done for today."  
"Ok." Jordan agreed standing up. No point on trying to make those sections any longer or worse, any painful.  
"Ciao, Isabella."  
"Ciao." Jordan smiled politely and exited the room.

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"How did it go?" Paolo asked when he saw the therapist at the coffee room.  
"She impressed me today." Guilia Veronesi stated.  
"You're joking."  
"No!" she shook her head. "She said he drinks whiskey alone."   
"And who's 'he'?"  
"Isabella doesn't know either. But I'm happy with whatever I can get by this point." Veronesi sat down "Isabella is also very intelligent."  
"I know." Paolo nodded. "Any headaches today?"  
"No. Instead of being loaded with questions, Isabella suggested we analyzed her case from an outsider's perspective."  
"She's good at that."  
"How do you know?"  
"We played Clue the other day." Paolo said trying to make it sound like an ordinary thing.  
"Ah…" The simple expression from the doctor, speak a thousand words  
"Don't analyze me." He warned her playfully.  
"Ok. Isabella is really good at that. I'm starting to think she might work with the police or something like that."  
Paolo took a sip of his coffee without taking his eyes from Guilia Veronesi. Isabella was an interesting subject.  
"She asked me about the eye witnesses, her medical charge…"  
"Wait, you didn't tell her…"  
"No! God, no. We're not saying a word about until we find this child." The blonde stated. "When are you discharging Isabella?"   
"Looking forward?" Paolo asked ironically.  
"You should have discharged her about a week ago." She pointed out.   
"I'm a little worried about that. Where would she go?"   
"That's what you're worried about?" Veronesi raised an eyebrow.  
"Yeah. Of course." Paolo answered quickly "What else would it be?"  
"You won't see her everyday." The therapist pointed out.  
"That's…"   
"You named her Isabella, you have lunch with her everyday ever since she woke up, and you have spent free time around the hospital. Segreti, do really want me to believe you don't care about her?"  
"Same way I care about any other patient." Paolo answered. Again, quickly.  
"First: I'm blonde, but I'm not an idiot. Second: once she's not your patient, it's not unethical to get involved with her."  
"I'm not…"  
"Yes, I know. You're not thinking about it." She exited the room before he could try to defend himself.  
"I… I don't like her." Paolo sat back on the couch frustrated. Why couldn't Veronesi believe him?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi, Daddy!" Lily smiled at him as she walked into his apartment with Caterina.  
"Hey, girls!" Woody smiled back while he packed some things.  
"We had a good time at the park, thanks for asking." Lily said ironically and suspicious.  
"Thanks for taking Cate on your day off." Woody stopped and took his daughter from Lily's arms "Were you a good girl, sweetie?" he smiled at the baby.  
"A perfect angel." Lily answered.  
"Lily, I can't thank you enough for all you did since I got back from Italy. Answering those midnight calls, dirty dippers, going to the park, staying over." Woody enumerated. "I don't know what I would have done without you."   
"You would have figured it out." Lily smiled "Don't take me on the wrong way, but… Why are you all sentimental?"   
"I'm off to Italy." He answered quickly.  
"What!"   
"Phone calls are taking us to dead ends. I can't sit back and wait for Jordan to magically show up."  
"Good point." Lily sighed. "We're gonna miss Caterina so much." She played with the baby "When are you leaving?"  
"Tomorrow morning."  
"When are you coming back?"  
"I don't know." Woody stared the floor for a second before looking back into her grayish-blue eyes.  
Woody and Lily had been friends ever since he came to Boston, but they had grew a lot closer after he came back with Caterina. Woody was pretty clueless when it came to taking care of a baby. He didn't know how to change a dipper.

_(Flash back) _

_Lily couldn't help laughing at the sight. Woody was holding Caterina away from him with a disgusted expression on his face. He lied the baby down at the autopsy table and scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. He opened the dipper and sighed heavily. __  
__"Cate, baby, why do you put me through this?" Woody asked his daughter. Caterina was far more interested on her hands than on her father. __  
__"Want some help?" Lily pushed the door and walked into the autopsy room. __  
__"Please!" Woody begged. __  
__"If Garret finds out you've been changing dippers on an autopsy table, he'll kill you." Lily warned. __  
__"I always thought I could handle a baby." Woody sighed taking a step to the side so Lily could do the 'dirty work'. __  
__"It's not as hard as it seems. And you're a newbie." Lily picked the tissue box and started cleaning the baby's butt "Isn't that right, Catie?" she smiled at the baby. __  
__Caterina smiled back and stretched her hands to take Lily's blond hair. __  
__"So, take the tissue, clean, get rid of the dirty dipper" she lifted Caterina gently by her ankles removing the dirty dipper "get a new one" she placed the clean dipper and let the baby down "cute band is the front" she pointed out. May seem pathetic, but people tend to wonder what's the front and what's the back of a dipper. "Attach it and you're done." Lily finished and picked Caterina up. __  
__"You make it sound so simple." Woody said amazed. __  
__"Don't worry. Soon you'll be doing that with your eyes closed." Lily smiled at him assuring he would be a good parent. "Cate is adorable, but what is she doing here?" __  
__"I couldn't find a babysitter and Caterina hates Lu." Woody told her. __  
__Lily tried to hold back the laugh. __  
__Woody rolled his eyes. __  
__Lily laughed. She couldn't help thinking Jordan would be proud of her little girl for that. _

And since Caterina would cry as loud as possible whenever Lu attempted to touch her, Lily's help became often required. The situation annoyed Lu deeply. She was jealous of Caterina, because the baby was the focus of all Woody's attention, and jealous of Lily, because she would make a much better stepmother than the blonde detective. Once the wedding was called off, Lily would spent more and more time with Caterina and, consequently, with Woody. Whenever he needed help, she was his first option.

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"I have good news." Paolo smiled at Jordan.   
"The hospital changed the menu and now we're getting food that actually tastes good?"  
"No." Paolo laughed "I'm discharging you by the end of the shift."  
"Veronesi must be thrilled." She said ironically.  
"Not that much. You're no longer my patient, but you're still Dr. Veronesi's one."   
"Damn it!" she mocked.  
"I was thinking and… uh…"  
"You're cute when you're blushing." Jordan teased him.  
"I'm not blushing. My house is big and you're gonna need a place to live, so you could move in with me." Paolo decided it was better to say it at once "For as long as you want."  
"Are you sure that's ok?" Jordan said a little suspicion  
"Absolutely." He nodded "I'm no longer your doctor and we get along well."  
"Okay" Jordan said with an evil grin..."but you should be aware of all the things the people in the hospital are going to comment about!" Jordan laugh  
"I already deal with ...and well is part of the game" He said mocking  
"Alright …not I have too many options on this...but I'm really glad. Thanks Paolo" she smiled, that gorgeous smile.  
"Ok…all ready. Take your stuff and we'll go home, Isabella"  
"Bossy…"  
"I'll be back in an hour" Paolo said and with that he crosses the door  
Jordan starts to prepare her things, the few she have. Wondering how it would be live with her ex-doctor. She tell to her self the must be great, he was a caring man, funny, charming and handsome. Any other woman would be happy to be at her position and Jordan was. But in some part of her mind, something wasn't right…yes, she wants to leave the hospital, but something seems to be missing and not correct. She try to think a good reason and couldn't find it , but one questions remains in her mind, Why she still have the sensations color of the eyes of Paolo must be for another color? And why that simple fact make it feel so annoyed. She makes an effort for try to change the color: green, honey, dark green, blue….sea blue…   
"Ouch!" Jordan strokes her head with her hand "Blue, sea blue…" she tried again...another hit of pain "Damn it! What the hell this means?" Jordan screamed in frustration, gazing out the window, looking to a light blue sea...


End file.
